Events

In a month, I am turning 40.  Tomorrow is October 1, 2015, and my birthday falls on Thanksgiving Day this year.  September ended on a very high note, after I was bullied on Linkedin, a professional career website for making a mistake in translating.  There was also the petit mal siezure that my cat was able to intervene with.  He sat on my chest until the siezure stopped.  I took the high road for both instances.  And because the driver was late on arrival with my medications, I had to ride the siezure out, and recover a little bit slower than I would have liked.  Today is Wednesday, and all of the above happened Monday.  This I know to be true.  My friends who really care see me offline.  The rest are stuck in what I now see as CyberSpace addictions.  They THINK I am going to be on Facebook, Twitter, and stick around.  The truth be told.  I will not engage in war, but wait until visits can be arranged.

Everyone needs to get offline for awhile, so I am slipping out the back door quietly.  This is where my DID takes the reigns.  This delightful world protects me now more than ever before.  As a group, they know what I want in life.  Vince, Brandon, Keith, and Stephen are brave as hell.  Cops currently have a bad rap, but that doesn't stop them.  Erin has successfully recovered from Meth addictions, and Amber has learned to put the bottle down.  Connie and her triplets, Taylor, Issac, and Zach, are doing so well.  Poppy loves being a big sister, even though her twin, Thomas has passed.

I am so thankful that my brain is still in tact after all that I have endured at age 39.  My quality of life is as good as my medical team can make it right now.  My psychiatrist is seeing me next Tuesday, October 6, followed by a neighborhood social event.  Lately, there has been a bustle of activity here in Del Webb, and I am getting my new social skills down, since everyone here are seniors.  I am also awaiting the new move to the apartment, which will also happen this month.

Being independent has been amazing so far.  And my hope is that I continue to develop into a responsible, caring, and loving human being during this new decade.

Birth Story

Connie is post pregnancy, and baby Poppy is beautiful.  Connie now has her blessing, that of being a single mother.  Her first baby died in utero, so we have been healing together.  It takes me back to my volunteer days in the NICU.  And the white rose teardrop on the doors meant a child was lost.

Linking my CP and DID has been so wonderful, because both keep me in a state of reality, and it goes way beyond the medicine cabinet.  I am so proud of my growth as Easter continues in my heart. Each day, I am anew.  And God shows me all kinds of things.  Life with the moves will truly change me yet again, but it's nothing a gal like me can't handle.

We have been renewed here for ten years, and now, it's time to move on.  As we bid The Woodlands farewell, I am excited about what lies ahead.  Fun family time, and even more time with friends.  It will truly be a renewal process there too.  The final move will be to my apartment.  Renewal again, and more time to post here.

Yippee!

Life Through March 2014 And April Beginnings

January through March have kept me busy.  Appointments with great outcomes, and my cousin's wedding were fantastic.  I'll always keep my dancing shoes on.  The ceremony was unrehearsed, and my cousins said their vows face forward, no nerves.  My uncle's quote "there you go" after giving the bride away was hysterical.  At the reception, dinner was Tuscan chicken, brown rice, grilled asparagus, and I had a glass of merlot with dinner and the toasts.  Then we headed upstairs to dance like no one was watching.  My cousin's baby brother and boyfriend of her little sister danced to a variety of songs.  Then I got out on the floor, thinking the wine and balance with my internal pump would have me falling.  Nope.  I stayed on my feet,  and the merlot loosend me up.

I am having a wonderful start to April.  I am staying organized, and my flow is all set for the next several months regarding my waiting list for the  apartments.  I am so proud of myself for using math in a practical way, and after some recalculations, I got a surprise.  I actually spent less between March and the present day, and I have to give myself a pat on the back for seeing this error.

This weekend, I am going to jumpstart my cookbook again.  French to English, as a way to keep my language skills sharp, like my spreadsheets help with math.  You'd think I was a Soduku player.  LOL.  Whatever works right?

Music and dance go hand in hand with me for exercise and joy of just doing it, not confining  myself to a piece of equipment.  It's all about variety.  Kerry and Kel keep me on top of workouts since they are personal trainers who reside within me, and the rest of the DID Posse loves doing flash mobs.  Class Act is a group of students that also keep the movement going with my art and therapeutic yoga.

I have learned to balance CP and DID to the point where I am not in physical pain, specifically, headaches.  Music will distract us enough to keep the migraines at bay, and about 3 years ago, I posted during a headache, with music to heal it, and it worked so well, I kept this pain relief practice going with the ER theme.

My wife and I are so dedicated to saving lives that it becomes a question after work.  How many lives did we save today?  Keith, her colleague, keeps track.  And my cops make so many arrests that our world is nearly crime free.  Even during psychosis in 2011, I could see everything up close.  The new meds combine both antidepressants with antipsychotics, and I have noted marked improvement, among other things.  As it turns out, the current cocktail helps me sleep better than if I were to add melatonin to it.

Since all medical appointments are spaced out, I live more freely, with a better quality of life.  As I gently say farewell to my 30s, I am so glad that all of my progress has gone so well.  Hotter Than Usual, a play I wrote, was sent to Guam for my dear friend to read.  I am seriously thinking about doing a sequel to Gothic Women Of Salem, a  script I wrote in 2002.

I am very emotional this month.  This is a good  sign since I can cry when I need to be cleansed.  Sometimes, this can be seen as a weakness, but for us, it's a stress relief response.  The cats can tell when I need a kitty hug.  Haha!

2013-2014

A  lot has changed in the past year.  I got my new Baclofen Pump implanted, went through 6 months of Physical Therapy, and learned pain management habits, pills, dance, and music.  Music and dance are separate, but when combined for cardio, they make one hell of a difference.  Lately, my pain has resurfaced, but it's not too bad.  From sinus pain to pain in my upper extremities, God never gives me more than I can handle.  I pray, and diligently try to eat well, sleep soundly, and wake refreshed to tackle a new day.

The Posse and Class Act keep me on my toes.  When Melissa fronts, life gets interesting because she just got promoted, again.  She started out the way everyone does, as an intern.  Today, we got word that she is now Chief of Surgery, ER specific.  Our hospital now accommodates both mental health and physical health services.  And today, I surprised her with the theme song from ER.  We also had a chance to sneak to the on call room, and she gave me a long kiss.  I am about to head to the PICU tonight to check on Dominic.  Then, I'll head to the NICU to check on a young mom's twins.

DID is an extension of me.  I get to live out jobs, family life, and love, respect, and honor, all in my head.  And with 42 alters total, I am one busy multi tasker.  I bravely let my dad know that they are all medically trained, since his profession was insurance.  It's funny how that works out.  Now that I see my psychiatrist every 8 weeks, it gives me time to process life.  The others are cops, in honor of my late brother and dear friend's husband.  I am truly blessed.

As the new year rolls on, life gives me all kinds of opportunities to grow.  I work from home, a hobby job.  In addition, I am apartment hunting in Houston with help from Dad and a friend of mine.  I can't stop smiling.  The complexes have now become a reality.  There are two.  One is called Evergreen Village, and the other one is Lighthouse For The Blind.  I have their office information, photos, and I calculated my rent recently.  I am extremely proud of my math abilities now.  I rarely write checks, so my credit cards come in at a close second.  Haha!  The complexes do credit checks, so hey, can't argue with that.

There is more to come, but I think it's time for a movie.  Peace!

Summer Fun

I haven't posted in awhile....I know....I should update more often!  Today was great.  My language skills are coming back.  Mostly French, but Spanish is making a strong comeback too.  This is one of the few places where I can write in anything I want.  LOL!  My ability to spell and translate are still on the low side since my adult siezure, but I managed to get better on my own.  Unbelieveable I know.  Going to the ER so didn't cross my mind and neither did seeking help afterwards.  I was basically at the mercy of self.  Now I'm on anti siezure meds and doing well.  My psychiatrist is also a miracle worker in his own right.  We meet monthly so I can share my arts, feelings, journals and thoughts.  And he's worth every penny.  Medicaid covers little these days so I am responsible for all out of pocket costs, including his.

As for the summer....I'm spending lots of time with family and friends and I'm online a lot since this is the way friends and family communicate mostly.  That and my cell phone...haha!

Fall is just around the corner and I'm ready for cooler weather.  I'm also looking forward to a health update time at the end of August.  It should be good because the Posse has been doing well lately.  So has Class Act.  Dissociative Identity Disorder is my life and all 40 of them please me.  Erin is renewed after committing suicide and we are having a ball now.  Brandon or B Man as he is called loves Depehe Mode still, and with Melina's birthday around the corner, there will be a party in my head.  She's turning 8 September 26th.  Emilye is 12  now.  My littles are growing up!

The adults will age up with me on my birthday.  November will be a blast.  I share my birthday with Tina Turner, so her DVD will be playing again and I'll kick back with family.  This is what happens when one looks ahead and I can feel my brother smiling on me.  It's been a good year so far.

Update

Monday we had my doctor visit and Erin came forward.  We discussed her desire to die, and the desire to live.  The doctor also said we can love family without actually seeing them face to face.  I love my sister, but seeing her would set me off, so I am declining plans with her this weekend and going to Kyle's instead.  We plan to see Prometheus and head to Hobby Lobby.  Fun!  Painting will be great.  And having my laptop means more desk space.  Yay!

I'm looking forward to painting.  What can I say?  My alters have a creative streak.  LOL!

More to come...

Erin And DID

I feel blessed and lucky at the same time.  The bills are getting paid with money to spare.  My DID art is now accessable by way of Nan's Ohio site, and by way of links in my e-mail.  Dropbox is the bomb.  I love transferring files to my phone to share in therapy.  Edication matters to me.  Reaching friends and family matters.  I can't leave them ignorant.

Things are crazy with The Posse at the moment.  Erin is struggling to just stay alive.  Valerian works.  When she's not sedated and not triggered, her art is beautiful.  She'll be in isolation till November.  I can at least get through hurricane season with fewer panic attacks.

Life is good....I just need her to be my strength now, and I know she can't be.  So I'll keep paying the bills until she's released...