2010

In 2010 we got an iphone and updated our music, video, and journal files. Yay! B Man got Walking In My Shoes back. Erin Go Braugh got These Dreams and Self Control back. Double yay. I have been working on self care and self CPR. Fun! CP is in a class by itself I tell ya. But it's the best. Now here we are in 2011 enjoying life again. No more herpes to deal with! The meds worked overall so I am doing much better now than before and since adding Zyprexa back, even better than much better. Muscles are tight but that is dealt with via movement once I wake up in the AM.

Foods are fun again too. Oatmeal and Grits while I learn about egg whites for protein. Removing the yolks? A new challenge! LOL.

Art? Replace drum batteries! Hee hee...

Second kind of art? Foods! That is the best part. Beyond ham. Ha!

Diablo 2 is a blast while thinking about foods. Die zombies! Hee hee... LOL!

There's more to come so stay tuned....

Very difficult day and days ahead.....Cerebral Palsy/Dissociative Identity Disorder combo since birth. Menopause since March 3, 2008 after full hysteectomy. Severe Chronic Pain, Neuopathy, and Mood Swings. Night sweats, day sweats, hot flashes, horrible brain empty-ness like a deflated balloon w/highs and lows very severe. Highs for 5 minutes. 2 minutes later...drastic lows. Energy plummets. Sleep deprivation on 1-10 scale at a 10 for over 12 months. Living w/ parents who are almost 70 years of age now. I'm 33. Not a good mix. I'm single, no kids. Scary adult interactions w/all family, friends, etc. Kids-calm days and nights. Just good to have me time and play time. Just observations about stuff.

Current treatments today w/new Medicaid doctors in first ever office visits.

Cymbalta: 30 MGS 1xd for pain, moods, stabilization of neuropathic pain.
Estradiol HRT Bioidenticals for Menopause in cream form

Doing okay for today. Not sure what is to come...but I feel good because of music, TV, working on communicating better w/people, seeing Dr. Phil and Robin holding my hands walking up the hill of life with me.....thank you both so much for being with me all through books and your show and The Drs. too! God bless you all and Drs. Stork, Dr. Lisa, Dr. Jim, and Dr. Drew. Hugs hugs hugs!

Peace! :)

Our favorite color....RED. Me and my love. Red hair, green eyes. And yes, we get chased by the TX Paparazzi all the time here. Take pictures for us Susana, we want to remember you....um....am I going somewhere other than Hell that you have said all 33 years so far? Seriously! I don't do that either along with your second best stuff. Dude. And Adult Protective Services says I have no case because verbal words don't count as abuse. Funny. Therapy and Psychatry for 26 years for NOTHING in the Biggest State in the Union. Um.....medications, one hospital stay for four days. Outpatient stuff here and there in Houston. Wow. Really? I'm on my own? Really? You asked me if I was in trouble, and now, you think I'm worse? Really? I would so love to be able bodied for the next 33 years. A job, car, mortgage, man, woman, children, the whole thing. Please. Show me what I am really missing out on. And the stats? Churches say over 50 percent of Americans are divorced. Really? Seriously? Oh and they also look at me saying that it's okay to steal, kill, and destroy me as long as it makes them look good. Bigger and better than me. Then they compare me to Chris Reeve. You're better than him because you're not paralyzed. Be thankful.

Wow. So I walk funny and still can't do anything right, yet I'm better than Chris Reeve? Wow. That's twisted. Totally. Oh and another thing. Sybil was real. Her best friend is now my e-mail condidante. Duh. People are like, oh it was just in a book or a movie. Talk to Sally Field and Joanne Woodward. I promise you.....I am in that cruise ship for life people. I wouldn't go back to the past or fast forward for NOTHING. Every step I take could get me bullied and beaten, murdered even. Texas is Texas after all. Chainsaw Massacre. Andrea Yates from Clear Lake. And the fabulous town of Denton TX where my girlfriend went to music school. Dr. Phil got his Ph.D. from there. And we don't knock Dallas. Emily moved to that city before New York City. And the drive up there years ago.....the best days of my life!

Dude. Not to mention the two FLDS compounds in Waco and West TX. And NOLA next door where my sweet gal dropped her baggage off and gambled at the Craps table at Cushatta baby! Wow.....2004 before moving to The Woodlands here now. I rolled all night. It was fun.

Clean, sober, non addictive. I can have fun guys and gals. I also love stripper poles since I can't do complex yoga. What fun pole dancing is! I can get dizzy and have fun doing it, and costume change like Cher without the guilt! And the clothes....Target all the way!

Nate and his line too. Hello! My new pad is going to have a dash of Nate, a spash of The McGraw family....and some Suze, Oprah, and Bob, Dr. Oz,. Dr. Stork, and the whole TV world. My home grown doctors won't know who the heck I am when I am done morphing again. LOL.

Oh and going from bullied Christian to Atheist.......lovely swap. A break. A chance to see others. Muslim, Mormon, Jew, Greek, French, Euro, Hindu, Buddhist....and my home base, Catholic. 3 years there in school and I swear it was like dealing with Severus Snape only without the nuns! I was the mudblood of the class. Duh. School years were so full of stuff that I was like....wow. So movies that are now being remade like Nightmare on Elm Street are supposed to be what now?

Scary? Freaky? Without Robert Englund? You have got to be kidding me. The guy who replaced Jason said the dumbest thing ever on line. Austin TX summertime was too hot. Latex made me break out. LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! What a guy. You really have no idea what TX heat is like do you then? My goodness. I am allergic to Latex. Gloves, balloons, gummy candies, the whole shebang. Get over it man! TX heat is as close to Hell as you can get!

Now that it's legal to have a gun license and own guns at 21 and over....on university campuses....wow. Here we go Texas. What are we really doing? Can someone tell me? A native who's been here as long as me? Come on.....

Ignorance. Not bliss. Idiots. Lisa Marie Presley. Damn. For real. P!nk. Haven't seen these ladies shows on tour. Probably never will but good grief. Even Beyonce knows where home is. And my rear donated to build homes in Houston when Katrina hit. Give me a break. You can be money poor, but give you over when the time calls. NOLA is my mom's hometown. I'm ready to head that way to pay my respects.

I have military grandfathers and a military dad too. Strict discipline even at 33. Brother died after bootcamp drama. I am lost without him. My angel. Gone. December 17, 2000. Almost 9 years. Somebody's Watching Me by Rockwell. That's us. He's my pal. Still protects me. He's here.

And we LOVE rap music. The boy owned Biggie Smalls, Jam Master J, 2 Pac.....and the boy is with them now. Lucky lucky boy. Died with a boy who was black. They died together in broad daylight. 3:17 PM. If only I had been home hours prior.....I could have talked him out of that motorcycle crash. I could have saved his life. Guess now it's his turn to keep saving mine. From June Sky as we dance among the stars. Love you Scott. Seriously. We were babies together. We grew into the early 20s together and then June Sky called you home. Hugs!

My iPod holds the songs to my life. Each one shows me fully, completely, nothing left to chance. Mystery, unknowns, question mark life, question mark deaths, questions, holes, gaps, things I can't cure. All of it. Movies and TV can't even put down what the music can. Music is first. Movies and TV second. It's how I am. Viitamins, supplements, OTCs now. Pandora's Box holds my past. But I am going to keep moving. Life is life. Valued. Death, valued. Steam, a series on the web by Caryn Johnson, the delightful Whoopi Goldberg, has done something no woman on earth has. Not only did she capture her character, Jodi Quinn, but she also played Nurse Valerie in Girl, Interrupted, my first ever diagnosis. Yes, I see me in the whole cast. A girl who knew she was Interrupted, and needed to face herself. And boy, have I ever. I face life and death all the time. And I am not going to lie down and die because people don't know. Or they want to kill me with words, kindness, and bullying in all forms. Hell? Pure and simple here. Complex? Indeed. Jesus and Satan play Badmitton with me, the Birdie. And yes, I fly over the cukoo's nest with Jack and Angie because by God, they matter to me. Evil and good matter. Philosophy and French, the world as a whole, live, in Technicolor, it matters to ME.

Cerebral Palsy and DID. Surgery after surgery, medications, medical treatments half the universe will NEVER see or do themselves. Yet I sit and watch my friends die. By suicide. I sit and think, damn, another one gone. A human who didn't stand and fight. Took the easy way out. Damn.

Disabled people. Plenty here on Earth and dead too. The dead were close to me. Still are. They move with me. From deep inside. They keep me alive, LIVING. Medical people have no idea what is beyond meds and cutting me open, sewing me up, sending me back out into an institution and mainstreamed world where I am never going to be Able Bodied. Hell. Indeed.

I don't stop. I do it all. The mind and body connection keep moving. My wife is an ER doctor, and damn, this woman knows how to handle life. She doesn't care how sick her patients are. THose she loses still mean something when she gets home to lie with me. My wife loves me. She loves souls. And I walk with her. Through the "How to save a life today" and I lost another patient today. We wed October 10, 1993. I'm never going to know what we will do next, but that's okay. We plan to donate this body to science, and just die in peace one day. And since we went from growing up Christian to Atheist in 33 years time, yippee for us. I no longer allow the religion, sex, and politics to define me. My wife is okay. I am okay. Labels, etc. are what they are. We keep moving.

My cruise ship is full now. Marlee Matlin, Michael J. Fox, Montel Williams, and ME. Incurable optimists. Boom....boom.....Pow. Black Eyed Peas. Theater, music, dance. Me in a nutshell. Broadway, Edward Albee, Stephen Sondheim, Dr. Sidney Berger, UH School of Theater director all 4 years I was there.....Jim Parsons, me, and my buddies. We did it. We can now go on. Be anywhere, anyone, and not give a hoot and holler.

Brave and I Stand by Idina Menzel. Damn what a woman she is. And husband Taye Diggs.....what a true man. Soul man. From The Wild Party, Wicked, RENT, to Private Practice.....this man has me wrapped up in him. And when I discovered his cast.....Amy Breneman, Tim Daly, Tyne Daly's son. Audra MacDonald. I am speechless here. Truly full circle! Judging Amy, Cagney and Lacy, Brady Bunch, Partridge Family, Greatest American Hero, God, TV was my life growing up!

Theater....in the middle of medical crap shoots, I managed to hit the stage. Dance before walking at age 5. Swan Lake and The Nutcracker? Nope. Just dance. My way. My moves. No one to tell me how! Damn this is freedom. My yoga. My dance. My life. Albee. His darkness is my way of being....seeing....Me.

Scripts pile up here. I work for free. Don't care. Just do it. Do what we love. All 20 of my alters. We rock. We love it. ALL of it. We know.....Perfectly Imperfect. Boom. Tick...Tick...Boom! Anything Goes Guys and Dolls! And yes, my RENT as a true Bohemian starts at the end of 2009 in a HUD apartment. Damn this life is rich and wealthy!

Now if you'll excuse me and my DID Posse of 20, we are going to take the CP body and DANCE!!!

I am psyched! Music, movies, TV, DVD worlds. But my passion lies in Foreign languages, new lands, USA areas I have yet to see in my Cerebral Palsy mind with Dissociative Identity Disorder, chronic pain universally, and then some. Why do I love people like Montel Williams, Marlee Matlin, Michael J. Fox, Stevie Wonder, and those who have gone on to June Sky to Dance? Because being Perfectly Imperfect is who we are, and we don't take any shit from a world that says no to us without picking up a book or two, and applying the books to us. I change daily. My brain has been around the block twice in surgery. It's why the DID is connected to the CP. The brain is the main computer for every human and animal. And when it is harmed you do change. And it's not a temporary thing. It's permanent. So....judge me all you want world. I won't change. And yes, being lesbian since age 4 means a ton too, because in 1979, I knew the DID was here. I also had a brother who was born, adopted with me, and we were white trash to the family. Still are. He died 9 years ago. I was the first person to know he was dead, and the only one to see him alive prior to dying. Peaceful. The man is my hero. He still is. In June Sky, dancing, drinking, drugging, being himself. The boy enlisted in 2 boot camps. Army and Marines. Never lived to see Iraq. I knew it's what he wanted. He came home and told me, showed me the ASVAB tests, the uniforms from boot camps, the fears he had. The love and forgiveness, and that stuff still carries us today. Somebody's watching me by Rockwell is our song. When I am scared, verbally hurt by these people here, I know he's with me. He knows labels and stuff don't mean a thing. Abuse is abuse. Big, Small, Indifferent. Damn the medical lands for telling he and I nothing happened and we are okay. I've now been turned down by my local Emergency Room, Adult Protective Services. GAH. So, here I sit. Waiting. For him. He'll be back for me someday. I am his big sis. He'll be back. Till then, he's here now in all the music. 2 Pac, Biggie Smalls, Jam Master J, Dolla, Jamie Foxx, Kanye West, Sean Diddy Combs. The Cosby Family. Yes, my brother and I knew what it meant to be Black and White. Each of our best friends was black. His died with him. My little friend is out there somewhere. I love you, Cindy. Always will. Slaves no more dear. We can rise up. Always always.

Lady Gaga, Lisa Marie Presley, Queen LaTifah, Ellen and Portia, DJ Tony, Melissa Etheridge, KD Lang, Lara Dern. I came out with them. May 19, 1997. 12 years of discrimination. But I know better. Me and my new gal in Motor City will bust a move or two in the end even if union isn't in the cards. We love each other no matter what happens. I don't need a marriage or children to define us. We have each other. Almost Rosey by Tori Amos was the song she sang to me when I was dark. She told me I could go on despite the dozens of suicides in my life that I have had to live through. All my disabled peeps died among those peeps too. Scary as hell to know me and Angie Jolie and TIna are all that's left in this generation. 1900s-1975. Angie is going to be 34 June 4, 2009. Me and Tina will be 34 and 70 on November 26, 2009. And yes, Foxfire and The Best say it all. I'm All of The Above and Below because my life is in Technicolor with Coldplay. New Orelans. Mom's hometown. Life is so rich and weathy that I work for no money. Don't need it. I only need my heart.

Ciao everyone. Listen to Walking In My Shoes by Depeche Mode for a taste of who I am. The live concert video is in here somewhere. 20 alters make sure the music is jammin' out because they are my peeps, Inside Crew, Cooperative State, and Hope for Yes We Can under President Obama. More to come......Theater and Dance, yoga, arial stuff.....gotta go get it! Cheers! <3>

LOL!!!!!!!! Music. This is my world. ME!!! I am my world. Earth? LOL!!!!!!!! I don't know. Seriously. There's so much going on......that I can't even keep up anymore. So, to summarize me....I am Demon Spawn 4, and don't care. I love like no one cares, and DANCE in June Sky among the STARS like no one is watching!!!!!!!!! Welcome to Camp Spawn. This gal can be anything, anywhere....and ANYBODY she wants!!!!!!!! It's called LIVE theater. And I know relgioulous behavior is what it is. They drove me to this point. Satan grabbed me and said...hey, welcome kiddo. Guess the Jesus camp couldn't see you soul up front huh?

No sir. Can I go grab my clear heels and black teddy now?

Sure! I got styles....come take your pick. And Rosemary with baby are here too! Welcome! LOL. I knew all that surgery from the night I was born would pay off!!!! LOL!!!!! Cerebral Palsy and Dissociative Identity Disorder.......LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I am Satan's gal! Duh! Any ignorant fool who tells me black slaves, the Holocaust and Hitler don't exist need a check up from the soul up!!!!!!! I got confronted with this last week!!!!! Dude. So I guess if "this stuff didn't happen" That means....Earth.....Never......Happened.....Either!!!!!!!!!!

War......violence.......peace marches.....slaves........etc.......never happened. Even better! That means I don't need to panic, worry or do anything anymore! Skeet skeet skeet!!!!!!!!!!


To write my own L'il Jon Lyrics:

To the window
To the wall
Till the sweat drips from the world's souls!

Till the sweat drips from their souls!
Skeet skeet skeet skeet!!!!!!!!

Now I'm gonna hum Hey Mama, Touch The Sky, and Gold Digger.

Yo. I'm D. All of the above!!!!!!!!

I am going to be okay. I am okay. This is all I need. I'm taking me, and my DID Posse, and we are leaving to head away on vacation and we have no idea when we will be back. I house them, and they house me. This is more than just camp. We are connected by dots logically for life. We are every Philosopher, every possible ethical decision, every inch of foreign languages, every song, every emotion, every piece of who we are because we know all the pieces add up. Every one adds up to equal something good. It's who we are. Foxfire. We bond like we do because in 1975, on June 4, we became linked with a baby named Angelina Jolie. Then, in 1975, on November 26, we became linked again with a baby named Anna Mae Bullock, who later became stage persona, Tina Turner. This year, the ladies and I will be 34 and 70. And we have survived a lot together. The keys have been similar, indifferent, and not so nice, but togeether, I know I am okay witih these women by my side....deep inside who we are......US.

Love Lady Gaga. She summarizes TX like no one else in the music world. Seriously. The Fame CD says it all....TX is the biggest state in the union anyway. LOL!!!!

Loving life right now. The new apartment is fully furnished before the actual move day. Bills and expenses are tallied and totaled, so I am all set. A booze run is in the works for one shot per day/evening/night. Whee! Love it!!! Science and light still blind me, but hey, life is life. Whee! And the world is what it is too. I'm part of it, in it, and love it. Life is life. I'm living it. :-)

Today is a day of quiet celebration. Today, March 3, 2009, I celebrate a year milestone. It's been a solid year since my full hysterectomy and 4.5 pound tumor removal. And I am alive, well, full of love for me so deeply, that now, relationships don't have that desparate sensation any longer. I no longer desire to be in a relationship, with two adults and a child. Even via adoption, surrogacy, or anything. I'm okay being single, just like my Houston gal Beyonce sings. All the single ladies.....all the single ladies.....now put your hands up......

After years of weddings, baby showers, births, and what not, I am settling back into my single life. Yes, being gay is where I will forever be, with my long distance supporter from far away. She's the best thing that has ever happened to me, and there are others. But she's my world. So is my DID insider, and our inside daughter, and my entire Posse from the land of DID....all 18 of them bring me joy....self love, self acceptance, because they are all parts of me.

Here's to surviving another day, dear Posse....and I can hear the two ER doctors saying back.....congratulations on surviving your first full year of menopause post hysterectomy surgery kiddo. We love you too.

xoxoxo---Me N' The Posse of 18.

Life in the days of a writer.....whee! I coordinate 2 blogs now, and will hopefully begin a 3rd for CPN online. The Cerebral Palsy Network and other sites coordinated to aid my populations, are worth getting into. So, we'll see what happens if I get chosen to man the blog. March is here. Friday I have lunch with my twin friends, two ladies I have known forever, 10+ years. Then, March 16 is a double dose of fun. Another long time college friend of 10+ years, is coming back to his Houston office for work and dinner with me. Sushi, Japanese tea, and more......and before we meet, Portia De Rossi is going to be on her wife's talk show....should be fun. Portia has been a cool actor lately. Ally Mc Beal, and now, Better Off Ted. Not to mention her life with new wife Ellen De Generes. Ah....in the comfort of my comfort zone.....they are proof that we GLBT folks can live well, no matter what and still love each other and life itself. Whee!

Tonight I am going to see Edward Albee's two act play, At Home At The Zoo, which combines Homelife and The Zoo Story. The director, Doctor Sidney Berger, is retiring from UH in May 2009, and seeing him direct my mentors play is so exciting since being a well rounded student was my thing, French, Philosophy, Psychology, Theater, and Dance. It has been an honor to be a part of Doc's teaching career as well as a fan and student of Mr. Albee, unoffically, since I was not a Thater major. However, doing my own plays, dance coreography, etc. was a blast. French Theater with Guy-Pierre Couleau was so awesome too, he and wife Anne flew from France to teach us all we know today, and yes, I kept all of my scripts from college. Go Coogs! I even had some acting turns with foreign accents too, which totally allowed me to embrace characters from all over the world.

More later.....must get ready for the afternoon an evening before I head out.

Yippee....I leave town Saturday till Tuesday.....can't wait. Pa Pa is turning 90, and the entire TX family is going to be there for the celebration. Whee! I ate my Valentine's goodie at dinner....a heart shaped cookie with icing, chocolate and pink and red sprinkles, and sugar cookie galore. Yum-O. Hope everyone has a great Valentine's weekend......Brent celebrates his birthday today, and Jude on Valentine's Day, so my guyz have a lot to look forward to.....including ME. Ha ha.....two gay guyz and a lezzie.....nice. I'll never take it back. :p My new g/f met me on another blog from Mom's hometown of Detroit MI, and she's da bomb. We plan on meeting in Mom's birthplace this year, New Orleans La. so that's gonna rock, especially since Dad has a new Kyack, and we can see Lake Ponchatraine, and all of the French Quarter, and I can meet the author of an amazing NOLA book, Mr. Louis Maistros. Can't wait. Met him on the same blog, and both of these people have been with me for ages now. That's love....knowing you can do anything you set your mind to, and still be safe online and offline. Booyah. My DID is active.....and I am singing the tunes of P!nk, Lady Gaga, and Miss Lisa Marie Presley too....no nonsense, in your face type of me.....all 18 of my alternates love me just as I am, and that's all the love train shizz I need. Peace y'all!

We are truly fierce.....yes, we love Beyonce, and her Houston family.....including baby sister, Solange. Their parents were like mine. Break this awkard, shy child out of her shell with dance. It started for me in 1979 with ballet, and gradually became modern dance, musical theatre, and more modern dance. Today, in honor of my hot dance moves that I make myself, I am jamming to Beyonce, Sasha Fierce.....RWR.....Purrrr......this CD (2 of 2) is my favorite, because I Am is my shy self, and Sasha Fierce lets me break out......Diva baby......and my former kitty was named Sasha, so......yeah.....she was my momma's diva.....and this kitty lived to be 20 like miost pure bred Siamese do. Purrrr......miss you, Sasha baby.....xxxx.......

Yesterday, I manged to dance all day, from 7 AM to like 8 PM non stop at my desk, in my dancing shoes, etc. etc. I will never do standard workouts again. Dance gets everything moving, and I call the shots. Yeah.....me, diva baby......doing her thing, her way. Sassy, smart, smooth, and unlike any other. CP and DID allow me to move in ways this body and my Posse can move me, in ways that able bodied people would never understand. There's mystery surrounding my moves.....ooooh......sassy mystery, Sasha Fierce moves.

Celine Dion
Cher
Bette Midler
Beyonce and Solange Knowles
Melissa Etheridge
Sarah McLachlan
The Corrs
Taylor Swift

Ladies.......xxxxxx........thank you for inspiring me to move. More later.....

Happy Birthday Brent! I'm dancing like a fool for you today.......because I love us! We are the hippest, coolest, whitest, gay people on the street. Ah....and me with CP and DID, well, just goes to show what I won't do for a workout. Equipment and stupid people who tell me I need to walk like an able bodied chick, and be happy all the damn time....how unrealistic yo. I get to have it all.....Anger AND Joy, Pissed off AND Euphoric. I am HUMAN after all. Proud, imperfect, HUMAN, and a DAMN GOOD DANCER. We wear many hats. You in NYC, me in our Hometown state and city, Houston TX yo!

I dance all styles, and lately, it's been hip-hop, and rock, dance, and yes, even the electric slide! Halla!

Today, I dance early for your birthday. You get rock modern dance, with Just Dance, by Lady Gaga! Happy Birthday BFF.....Love ya! :}

--Susana Your BFF who will forever do and shout, JUST DANCE!

I feel bi-polar now.....went from really high to totally bottomed out low.....all because of more stupid idiot people on line who also know me off line, and think they can attack me/contact me both ways, even after changing all personal information on line and off line. Gah. Geezus Christo.....can I breathe please???????? Can the idiots please realize I changed my personal security for a reason???????

Family thinks I brought this on myself so they are of zero help or security to me at all. Damn it. Even when family steps in to help one minute, they change so fast it's as if they don't see this as important, and hit the 2X4 upside my head with blame all over it.

I want to run and hide, cry like hell, and never show my face here, out in public, or anywhere on line either. The CP and DID are not responding well.....and this really sucks, because It's Not My Fault. People are just so stupid!

Okay....me, my wife, and the 4 guyz......danced for our daily workout.....and yesterday, the frat party got hot.....with a lot of booze, drugs, screams, and justice. Keith, MD on the guyz side, was all over the anger shizz. He's mad. And rightfully so. Since December, and way before, we have been without heaalthcare, CARE being the key word. So me, my wife, Melissa, MD on the ladies side.....when those two MDs combine, and our ER is packed.....we dance like hell after they get out of the ER.

Coming from a patent's perspective, these two save lives. And yeah, they deal with the hard core folks who honestly shouldn't be on this planet. But they know better. Regardless what a loser you are, man, woman, or kids, you will be saved. Most likely when my Posse peeps deal with you, you go to jail.

This is why we admire the cast of ER. Why we tune in to Grey's Anatomy, House MD, and CSI: NY, and even Criminal Minds. We know how medicine and science work. Screw mental health people. They know NOTHING. Walk in the shoes of my peeps. You'll see psychology in the worst way, and none of those pros know squat. MDs know best. Think about it. Ph.Ds and MD Psychiatrists don't communicate together even when I'm seeing both as a dual referral! Geezus Christo Resucccito.

My wife and Keith get ALL the credit at this point. Mental Health people have a lot to prove to me. From medications, hospital stays, to all outpatient affairs. They have a lot of explaining to do.

Miss Beyonce Knowles is the reason why my butt is even alive. Her husband, Jay-Z sang a hit song that I totally relate to, cuz me and my peeps ain't no fool. 99 Problems. I got 99 Problems, but a bitch ain't one. Not no mo'. I quit all meds, stopped all the crap appoointments. Screw the money. Help is so hard to find, let alone DECENT bedside manner in TX. New Orleans is my next door neighbor. I got family there and in Houston. And anyone that says H-Town and NOLA don't matter can take their crap to the curb.

We work hard in Houston and NOLA. Harder than any idiot who knows us not. Now, let's DANCE.

Me and my crew of 18 know us best. Nuf said. Now we gonna dance, drink, and get high.....while doing Grammy prep talks. Coldplay, Jennifer Hudson, Beyonce, Jay-Z, Kanye West, L'il Wayne, Justin Timberlake, Taylor Swift......music is what makes us all ROCK. Happy Grammy Weekend yo!

Life is good....Dr. Phil and Robin are amazing at walking me through life events, challenges, and technology, safety with people of all categories, etc. etc. I don't regret this life so far. I am just simply learning, growing, and moving forward. Good and bad will accompany all of me. And I am okay with that. Ciao!