Hollywood Journal

NCIS. CSY NY. Cadaver Labs in Anatomy Class North Harris College 2005. It's not just case solving. Not just life and death. Full scope of it all. The appreciation for the dead who still speak. From June Sky. From afar, but Close Up. To me. To them, I shout the cadence….Marine Scott May…..Hurrah. I love you. The Earth people will never understand what I saw in you….all of you….ADD, crazy shit drugs and beer, Pot, cigs. And me. 2002. Erin toking on Meth and popping Ecstasy. Amber drinking the good stuff. No beer. Just the good al ke hol. LOL! My ladies are still hooked. Safe.

I took a bottle of Alieve to the back of The School of Theater to meet student Peter who told me I could end my pain of CP and an unknown illness that had been here with me since the year Scott Man was born. 1979. 30 years. DID. MPD. Sybil came to life….again. I saw her case in HCC psychology with Dr. Kristen Anderson. Sybil was me…but I had no idea because there was no label. Not for a few years.

Nikki came in….in my sexy sleep. After being nude in PT for weeks. Random. Little one. I am here to help you. Then, as time passed, time got lost, time….fled…..I saw the other DID Posse members come aboard the brain that was me. 20 of them. 14 Women. 4 Men. 2 Little girls. One is deaf, and her momma is deaf too. Cool. More Anne Mallory ASL to bust open. YES! Marlee sweetheart, we don't have to speak up. We don't have to forgive William Hurt or Gil Sefuentes for hurting us. William and you…toxic. He on booze, you on drugs. Gil drunk as he dated for years. Raped me Spring 2005. April 23, 4:15-6:15 PM and left by 6:30. Came and got me the next day. Humilitated me at Starbucks on the Woodlands Waterway. Told me he was Ross, in the salmon sweater. I was his Rachel, and got what I deserved. Therapy from his aid. Therapy with mine. He got away. I took the blame. Since then, all MDs and professionals have taken me to dinner while seeing me in PT, counseling, meds, check check check. Boundaries never here…ever.

 

Parents blame me. Family. Siblings are scared that I will fail in life. Yelling, physical hitting on my person. Mom. Sister. And it's okay. It's okay. I fight back. I yell back. I don't hit back. Hermonie no! They aren't worth it! Indeed not. Dysfunctional. Mom with dementia. Family in fear. Not me. I stare it down, run, move on. And the new apartment….December 2009. I'm going to move. Move out, move on…..because Susana deserves better than that.

I face Satan. Demons. Angels and Demons. My code will never be solved. Ever. Mystery. Dark brunette bimbo mystery. Dark and mysterious only. Never a dumb blonde.

This Diva can do it. Mistakes, and all else. She will. And she'll do her best. Legs in Foxfire. She has It. The fire. Nourishing and destroying because Satan does both too, and she's not scared to see and face Hell. Excusive stuff, religoions, sex, politics, disability and such comparisons as if we as a Posse have to prove who we are. Nope. So what if I feel this good sober?—P!nk. So? To Whom It May Concern….Now What? I'm going to Shoop and Just Dance because I'm going to be okay…..Lisa Marie and Susana Marie and Lady Gaga…music, movies, TV, Hollywood. Yeah. Theater live. Nuff said. Done. Check! LOL! C ya.