We are totally having way too much fun.....books, games, movies, music.....Robin McGraw's new book, CSI NY: The Game, Celtic Woman, Live At Slane Castle Ireland, homebody things, new footwear, and life semi under control without insurance is pretty good from where we sit. Gold nuggets of good health things, entertainment, and some people who we deem decent....yeah. Animals are always number one. The cats, horses, and therapy dogs come first and foremost, then, we gradually let people in. People tend to rock the boat, so when they do, we are like Super Nanny. You get a warning, then, you are sent to Time Out, for days until we deem you safe enough to re-enter our world again. Eventually, people get the gist. Eventually, they realize freedom and shizz does come with a price. And no, we are not OCD, ADD, or even Psychosis like, or even the opposite, or what we deem the opposite.....Sociopathic.....yeah, the DSM is like any other book. Simpy put, a book. Dig deeper, and you'll discover all kinds of shizz that may or may not be true based on what you see......blah blah blah......books are books, movies, and music....same thing, yeah? Super Bowl is tomorrow. We are not going to care who wins, since we love both teams, and feel like love is all around this year. La la la la la la.....la la la la la la......drum solo..........we will give you ten hugs if you can figure out what song this is from. ^_~ Peace out.
Saturday, January 31, 2009
Friday, January 30, 2009
I am really glad I know me best. Menopause, and the stuff around it, is hard, but I know that once insurance kicks back in, I can get me back. Balancing my hormones and the scales they sit on will be so great. I am going to be me again. Physicially, this is challenging. And we've been doing all the hormones since my 20s. When I was 26, we knew I was going to suffer. At 32, I hit rock bottom, and now, at 33, I am still down there. However, with my MD team, I can and will get me back. Although being down here is fun, I am ready to be a good me, a new way. See ya when I see ya. Ciao!
Thursday, January 29, 2009
Today is a new day.....different things are happening healthwise, but it's good. Different things are happening in the mind.....challenges are here. The heart and mind are forever open books. Love, for self, for animals, for the human race......Love feels new again. Free. Love Is Free.....so true for me, this year, beyond, and today.....life is good.
Wednesday, January 28, 2009
Tuesday, January 27, 2009
Monday, January 26, 2009
Sunday, January 25, 2009
Saturday, January 24, 2009
Today....I am thinking of the song that contains the lyrics:
Breathe......Just.....Breathe....Oh....Breathe.....Just Breathe.....
My throat is closing, and my chest feels tight. But I am doing the above with all the bravery I can muster right now.....knowing I am struggling with daily living......ready to just burst at the seams. But I won't do that....Instead, I am going to do tiny things to feel better. To help me breathe.....
Breathe......Just.....Breathe....Oh....Breathe.....Just Breathe.....
My throat is closing, and my chest feels tight. But I am doing the above with all the bravery I can muster right now.....knowing I am struggling with daily living......ready to just burst at the seams. But I won't do that....Instead, I am going to do tiny things to feel better. To help me breathe.....
Friday, January 23, 2009
Today has been peaceful. Reflective. Parents never become anything else....they are always parents, no matter what. Any idiot who thinks or says otherwise to my face or via any other method will get their arse kicked from here to the moon, and back. Nuf said. Responisbility comes from these humans. Nuf said. If they don't, the childfren of all ages and stereotypes need to leave no matter what, because I speak on behalf of me and my own siblings. I would have left at 18 as soon as legally able. Seriously. Kiss my ass. Love and all that stuff is true. However, I still live here. I separate from the "marriage" and do my own stuff, be it chores, cooking, and such. I would be out if the govt. would give me the cash to move, get my stuff, and live well. No doubt. For those who think otherwise, again, kiss my arse. You have no idea how the love goes from love to hate in less than 5 minutes. Parents and kids suck more than they know. All of us do. It don't matter who raised ya.....they are responsible for you no matter how you got in the "family" and all that crap. Stop making atupid excuses for you, the parents, and all the societal idiots. Cuz in the end, it's on you and the morons who raised you.
Step up, America.....be the parents and family who you dream of, and don't effing blame my arse when you are responsible for the roles that you play. The media is having a field day frenzy in TX and all around with how the kids are to blame. For Columbine. For Virginia Tech. For shooting parents dead, for being killed by their parents. Enough already!!!!!!!!! And suicides????? Don't effing talk to me....I had one friend die from grade 6 all the way through college. Fuck that shit.
Fuck you if you blame the kids.....are you walking in their shoes??????? Hell no! I have seen it all in 33 effing years. All of it....and I don't sleep. Insread, my arse is in hospitals, on meds, and put through the wringer because the medical and mental health morons don't live to see this shit before they get me in the office. Fuck you. I have to say this....Hollywood and books may or may not be true. People make stuff, put it out for public folks like me, and we assume "based on a true story" or "memoir" means truth. Hell even Oprah has been duped! Fuck you......for taking publishers, movie goers, and the public through hell.....YOUR OWN HELL full of LIES.
My professor of Anthropology said it best. "When you enter my classes, do not believe anything that you see, read, hear, speak....because for all you know....it may or may not be the real truth."
No shit. And Drs. call me shit bitch. Take my money, get my daddy in a shit fit, and fucking tell me off.....and I get screamed at daily....to shut up, go to my room, and hit by momma....and no one thinks it's abusive, cuz my fucking bruises and shit heal fast. Words hurt!!!!!! It's called Verbal Abuse, you effing morons!!!!!!!!!
At 33, with 67 year old parents, we are totally ape shit. Adults who can't co-exist!!!!!! Bring my nieces and other people in the house and you have WW3. No more. Not this year. And for the assholes who ask me shit....like "what will you do?????" When the assholes in America step up and give me my money, I'll fucking move out, live on, and tell the rest to fuck off. You have no idea. I am not the only responsible jackass on earth. We ALL have roles!!!!!!
I don't use CP and DID as EXCUSES.....I use them as tools to get out, off my ass, and I do shit. Don't like what I do????? That's on your soul, not mine. Own your shit. I embrace mine DAILY. And I don't need PEOPLE telling ME how to live MY LIFE. If you haven't seen this in person for 32-33 years, don't judge ME. Parents love pushing kids. Shoving, spanking, hitting, yelling, intimidating, and all that crap to make us feel bad cuz they won't face THIER shit.
IMPERFECTION is as much as disease as PERFECTION. I take my shit, and live well.
If Obama expects me to help him out, wake the Medical and Mental Health People up first. Show them what is really going on. Make real things be real. Let verbal pains be as bad as bruises on a body. Words are just as painful. And excuses to not take action, or taking action when the whole situation has not been analyzed, no way!!!!!!! Put the puzzle together first, then figure out what to do. Get all sides of the situation. Not just one or two. Family therapy is a damn oxy moron.
If people divorce and shit, they do it. If kids get hurt, they get hurt. If Columbine and Virginia Tech are just history events and nothing more, shoot me now......I can't fathom what will come next. I am sick.....absolutely sick.....to think that finger pointing and blame hits me and my friends, at age 33 vs. when I was birth through 32! What the hell??????? Hell......fuck Hell. Hell is knowing assholes are going to judge me till I drop dead of natural causes. I plan to LIVE till those morons get their lives together for real. And if you think I am going to be famous or publish a book....moive, play.....WRONG. My life is MINE. A blog....is a blog, is a blog........duh!
Life is life is life is life.......LIVE YOURS! We are one thing in this new administration....HUMANS. We are all IMPERFECT. EMBRACE this. And leave the ANIMALS alone. They came first, and are the only ones who love UNCONDITONALLY. Humans can't do it. They try, but believe me, they can't.......something always trips me up. I'm weak. Who can admit this? I'm me. Gay, white, disabled, and single. Who can admit this? Or are you too good for it?
Cry? Yes I do. Rant, laugh, and shizz? Yes I do....and I have NO SHAME in it. Fear? Pain? Yes indeed. It makes me imperfect and human. Duh.
Step up, America.....be the parents and family who you dream of, and don't effing blame my arse when you are responsible for the roles that you play. The media is having a field day frenzy in TX and all around with how the kids are to blame. For Columbine. For Virginia Tech. For shooting parents dead, for being killed by their parents. Enough already!!!!!!!!! And suicides????? Don't effing talk to me....I had one friend die from grade 6 all the way through college. Fuck that shit.
Fuck you if you blame the kids.....are you walking in their shoes??????? Hell no! I have seen it all in 33 effing years. All of it....and I don't sleep. Insread, my arse is in hospitals, on meds, and put through the wringer because the medical and mental health morons don't live to see this shit before they get me in the office. Fuck you. I have to say this....Hollywood and books may or may not be true. People make stuff, put it out for public folks like me, and we assume "based on a true story" or "memoir" means truth. Hell even Oprah has been duped! Fuck you......for taking publishers, movie goers, and the public through hell.....YOUR OWN HELL full of LIES.
My professor of Anthropology said it best. "When you enter my classes, do not believe anything that you see, read, hear, speak....because for all you know....it may or may not be the real truth."
No shit. And Drs. call me shit bitch. Take my money, get my daddy in a shit fit, and fucking tell me off.....and I get screamed at daily....to shut up, go to my room, and hit by momma....and no one thinks it's abusive, cuz my fucking bruises and shit heal fast. Words hurt!!!!!! It's called Verbal Abuse, you effing morons!!!!!!!!!
At 33, with 67 year old parents, we are totally ape shit. Adults who can't co-exist!!!!!! Bring my nieces and other people in the house and you have WW3. No more. Not this year. And for the assholes who ask me shit....like "what will you do?????" When the assholes in America step up and give me my money, I'll fucking move out, live on, and tell the rest to fuck off. You have no idea. I am not the only responsible jackass on earth. We ALL have roles!!!!!!
I don't use CP and DID as EXCUSES.....I use them as tools to get out, off my ass, and I do shit. Don't like what I do????? That's on your soul, not mine. Own your shit. I embrace mine DAILY. And I don't need PEOPLE telling ME how to live MY LIFE. If you haven't seen this in person for 32-33 years, don't judge ME. Parents love pushing kids. Shoving, spanking, hitting, yelling, intimidating, and all that crap to make us feel bad cuz they won't face THIER shit.
IMPERFECTION is as much as disease as PERFECTION. I take my shit, and live well.
If Obama expects me to help him out, wake the Medical and Mental Health People up first. Show them what is really going on. Make real things be real. Let verbal pains be as bad as bruises on a body. Words are just as painful. And excuses to not take action, or taking action when the whole situation has not been analyzed, no way!!!!!!! Put the puzzle together first, then figure out what to do. Get all sides of the situation. Not just one or two. Family therapy is a damn oxy moron.
If people divorce and shit, they do it. If kids get hurt, they get hurt. If Columbine and Virginia Tech are just history events and nothing more, shoot me now......I can't fathom what will come next. I am sick.....absolutely sick.....to think that finger pointing and blame hits me and my friends, at age 33 vs. when I was birth through 32! What the hell??????? Hell......fuck Hell. Hell is knowing assholes are going to judge me till I drop dead of natural causes. I plan to LIVE till those morons get their lives together for real. And if you think I am going to be famous or publish a book....moive, play.....WRONG. My life is MINE. A blog....is a blog, is a blog........duh!
Life is life is life is life.......LIVE YOURS! We are one thing in this new administration....HUMANS. We are all IMPERFECT. EMBRACE this. And leave the ANIMALS alone. They came first, and are the only ones who love UNCONDITONALLY. Humans can't do it. They try, but believe me, they can't.......something always trips me up. I'm weak. Who can admit this? I'm me. Gay, white, disabled, and single. Who can admit this? Or are you too good for it?
Cry? Yes I do. Rant, laugh, and shizz? Yes I do....and I have NO SHAME in it. Fear? Pain? Yes indeed. It makes me imperfect and human. Duh.
Thursday, January 22, 2009
Today is a memory day.....for my friends who died via their own hands......
Mattie Stepanek said something quite profound prior to his death that struck me as not only interesting, but to me, quite true. Mattie said that when he died, he would aid everyone, in Heaven, Purgatory, and Hell to find themselves again. Incredible. Even at his ending life, he knew the 3 kingdoms meant something......
My friends deserve to be found! Here is my list.
Chase (Junior High)
Burnadette (High School)
Jalyn (High School)
Amy (High School)
Mark from The University Of Houston dorms (College)
These people are never away from me....photos are all over my house. Memories flood my head and heart like no others could. I honor them each day. I honor them by being the best human being possible, and by living my life to the fullest extent. Dying would simply say to them that I gave up on us.....on me.....on life itself......so, here I remain.
Our favorite songs range from Tiffany to Debbie Gibson, Wilson Phillips, Musical Theatre, and more.....and this keeps us alive.
Peace out!
Mattie Stepanek said something quite profound prior to his death that struck me as not only interesting, but to me, quite true. Mattie said that when he died, he would aid everyone, in Heaven, Purgatory, and Hell to find themselves again. Incredible. Even at his ending life, he knew the 3 kingdoms meant something......
My friends deserve to be found! Here is my list.
Chase (Junior High)
Burnadette (High School)
Jalyn (High School)
Amy (High School)
Mark from The University Of Houston dorms (College)
These people are never away from me....photos are all over my house. Memories flood my head and heart like no others could. I honor them each day. I honor them by being the best human being possible, and by living my life to the fullest extent. Dying would simply say to them that I gave up on us.....on me.....on life itself......so, here I remain.
Our favorite songs range from Tiffany to Debbie Gibson, Wilson Phillips, Musical Theatre, and more.....and this keeps us alive.
Peace out!
Wednesday, January 21, 2009
What a week this has been....seeing the footage of President Obama for days on end has been amazing to me. I have always appreciated differences, in me and all other humans, and even animals too. LOL. Anyway, I am just spending time enjoying the new beginnings that we as a nation are having now.....for me, I have had so many full circle moments over the last 8 years, that this year is truly one of great joy for me personally....it helps me realize that I am okay, and so are my many friends worldwide because now, the all inclusive attitude is here.....something I thought I would never live to see....and my generation from 1975-2008 was an amazing run. Here we are in 2009 looking ahead to hardships, yes, but in the long term, I do think there will be triumphs as well.....and I think Mr. Obama said it best, and will continue to say it best.....Yes We Can......and I have taken this to heart while battling my various health issues. I have had some moments in bed because I simply stop when the pain hits universally, but after about an hour of rest, I am up again, moving, dancing, and doing other small things to keep going......Yes, I can. :}
Tuesday, January 20, 2009
America......Today I see a new horizon. Today I see me putting down everything on the soil upon which I stand. Today, I am humble. Today, I am grateful. Today, I am simple. Today, I wrap my entire being around those who differ from me. Today, I extend my hands to those who need me. Today, my heart, mind, body, and soul soar for all who see me. Today, I listen to those who speak to me. Today, I am heard by those who hear the voice with which I speak. Today, I allow President Obama, First Lady Michelle Obama, and First Children, Malia and Sasha Obama to take me to places I have yet to explore on my own, and beyond. Today, I allow Neil Diamond to sing about a nation and a world that can, and will, come together in unity like I have never experienced before, in my generation, from 1975-2009, and beyond.
Today.....
My country tis of thee
Today...
Sweet land of liberty
Today...
Of thee I sing
Today.....
Of Thee I sing
Today......
Today......
Today......
America by Neil Diamond
Today.....
My country tis of thee
Today...
Sweet land of liberty
Today...
Of thee I sing
Today.....
Of Thee I sing
Today......
Today......
Today......
America by Neil Diamond
Monday, January 19, 2009
Hero....by David Crosby feat. Phil Collins......
Heroes in our life, all 18 of us and our lovely body......
Dr. Martin Luther King
President Barack Obama
Jacinda "Cindy" Collins
Dana Owens
Anna Mae Bullock
Denzel Washington
Sidney Poitier
Caryn Johnson
Sherri Shepherd
Oprah Winfrey
Gail King
Dr. Mehmet C. Oz
Ms. Suze Orman
Mrs. Ellen and Mrs. Portia De Generes
Mr. Nate Berkus
Mr. And Mrs. Brad and Angie Jolie-Pitt
Mr. Louis Maistros
Mrs. Kay Hafenbrak
Mrs. Beyonce Knowles
Mr. Harry Connick Jr.
Mr. Fats Domino
The Black Ghost with Green Eyes and Dazzling White Teeth
We have today and tomorrow off for the swearing in of Mr. Obama. God bless him for making America what it truly represents.....total freedom.
--Melissa Renee Anderson, MD
Heroes in our life, all 18 of us and our lovely body......
Dr. Martin Luther King
President Barack Obama
Jacinda "Cindy" Collins
Dana Owens
Anna Mae Bullock
Denzel Washington
Sidney Poitier
Caryn Johnson
Sherri Shepherd
Oprah Winfrey
Gail King
Dr. Mehmet C. Oz
Ms. Suze Orman
Mrs. Ellen and Mrs. Portia De Generes
Mr. Nate Berkus
Mr. And Mrs. Brad and Angie Jolie-Pitt
Mr. Louis Maistros
Mrs. Kay Hafenbrak
Mrs. Beyonce Knowles
Mr. Harry Connick Jr.
Mr. Fats Domino
The Black Ghost with Green Eyes and Dazzling White Teeth
We have today and tomorrow off for the swearing in of Mr. Obama. God bless him for making America what it truly represents.....total freedom.
--Melissa Renee Anderson, MD
Saturday, January 17, 2009
Melissa and I are enjoying the night. Kellie has had her rant with us, and Ker-Ber is looking for London tix for all of us....vacation should work out nicely....Kel is just stressed. Can't say we blame her. I am the body that houses my crew....headaches are common, meds OTC, yadda yadda. We would never go back in time to scripts ever....money is not here anymore. And knowing insurance for dad would run out....big choices had to be made. When Ike hit, I went off all scripts cold turkey. The experience was enlightening. Yes, that's what I said. I learned that heroin addicts are to be embraced while struggling....don't diss us on any drug. Bad bad news.
Jumping through mental health hoops for a grand total of 26 years was not cool. 20 years of therapy from ages 12-32, in Network, and out of Network. Good grief. Everyone thought I brought the CP, DID stuff on me, and it's my fault that relationships at large are falling apart. Um.....we all play a role in America......and when the professionals walked over the lines of boundaries and blamed me....I was fuming. Yes....PTs, OTs, and Pyschologists met me off site for coffee, dinner, movies.....and confused us all to bits. Then, when I stood accused of being a bad social partner the weeks following, I simply walked away.......and let insurance and co-pays go to hell with the professionals.
Why get my family attorney involved? The stuff is gone.
If I start over, at age 33 now.......and that's a huge if......the lines will be drawn in the sand.
And it didn't matter if the PTs, OTs, or therapists had any level of degree.....from bottom level to top, I was in a dark place. One minute, it's my fault, and the next, we are in a bar having dinner.
Are you following this? Don't think I don't want help.....I just don't trust the pros and others to aid me here at all. All relationships are in the toilet. Flat affect, drugs, street drugs, booze, partying, loud everything, and even sex and violence.....yeah, we got it all in here in The Mansion. This is real, normal, and I don't care what people do to me. OR and ER mean nothing anymore....been there, done it since birth, and hope more comes. Going under means an MD is in charge of making sure I live. See? Be responsible. Women are from Venus....and you men are from Mars. Get over your stupid ways with me.....and women......stop hounding me because a man raped me and you let him go.
Jack Nicholson and Angelina Jolie mean the world to me. It's part of my life that one can see in One Flew Over The Cukoo's Nest and Girl, Interrupted. And yeah, Sybil with Sally Field was my key to knowing who I am minute to minute. A Beautiful Mind......a birthday gift......talk about bold statement.
Any movie that talks of the psyche.....bring it on......
Sybil
Girl, Interrupted
A Beautiful Mind
United States of Tara
One Flew Over The Cukoo's Nest
Others from Miss Angie from our year of birth in 1975....we share a birthday with Tina Turner too. Me and Tina.....November 26. And they named a hurricane after her ex......surreal. Next year, I hope they name one Tina......so she can do justice for us all.
Whoopi Goldberg has shown her true genioos too in Stream on FearNet.com. She plays a woman in her 50s and you see past, present, and future all on one screen. Dude. Brilliant.
And before Melissa and I go.....we want to thank all of you for not fully grasping us and such....because this is a day thing......day by day......and we never know what to expect here. 30 years in 2009 and counting.......
Cheers.
Susana
Jumping through mental health hoops for a grand total of 26 years was not cool. 20 years of therapy from ages 12-32, in Network, and out of Network. Good grief. Everyone thought I brought the CP, DID stuff on me, and it's my fault that relationships at large are falling apart. Um.....we all play a role in America......and when the professionals walked over the lines of boundaries and blamed me....I was fuming. Yes....PTs, OTs, and Pyschologists met me off site for coffee, dinner, movies.....and confused us all to bits. Then, when I stood accused of being a bad social partner the weeks following, I simply walked away.......and let insurance and co-pays go to hell with the professionals.
Why get my family attorney involved? The stuff is gone.
If I start over, at age 33 now.......and that's a huge if......the lines will be drawn in the sand.
And it didn't matter if the PTs, OTs, or therapists had any level of degree.....from bottom level to top, I was in a dark place. One minute, it's my fault, and the next, we are in a bar having dinner.
Are you following this? Don't think I don't want help.....I just don't trust the pros and others to aid me here at all. All relationships are in the toilet. Flat affect, drugs, street drugs, booze, partying, loud everything, and even sex and violence.....yeah, we got it all in here in The Mansion. This is real, normal, and I don't care what people do to me. OR and ER mean nothing anymore....been there, done it since birth, and hope more comes. Going under means an MD is in charge of making sure I live. See? Be responsible. Women are from Venus....and you men are from Mars. Get over your stupid ways with me.....and women......stop hounding me because a man raped me and you let him go.
Jack Nicholson and Angelina Jolie mean the world to me. It's part of my life that one can see in One Flew Over The Cukoo's Nest and Girl, Interrupted. And yeah, Sybil with Sally Field was my key to knowing who I am minute to minute. A Beautiful Mind......a birthday gift......talk about bold statement.
Any movie that talks of the psyche.....bring it on......
Sybil
Girl, Interrupted
A Beautiful Mind
United States of Tara
One Flew Over The Cukoo's Nest
Others from Miss Angie from our year of birth in 1975....we share a birthday with Tina Turner too. Me and Tina.....November 26. And they named a hurricane after her ex......surreal. Next year, I hope they name one Tina......so she can do justice for us all.
Whoopi Goldberg has shown her true genioos too in Stream on FearNet.com. She plays a woman in her 50s and you see past, present, and future all on one screen. Dude. Brilliant.
And before Melissa and I go.....we want to thank all of you for not fully grasping us and such....because this is a day thing......day by day......and we never know what to expect here. 30 years in 2009 and counting.......
Cheers.
Susana
Wow.....London is my home.....but now, here I am in the USA....personal trainer along with Kerry. Bloody hell.....I hope to go back soon.....to the place where free is not just a word used by professionals who deny this body and mind what it needs......if I could go on video with the crew here, it would be such a relief for everyone, minus the mess of the outside world. Safety first. Oh and my name is Kel....Kellie Jo. I go by Kel. The accent is self explanatory. Duh.
I am prepping the body for sex so she and her wife can make love again.....anything I can do without surgery, or scripts. Meh.....two things we are glad to see gone. Yeah, gone baby gone....who the hell knew? LOL.....CP/DID combo......2x4 in the head, mind, body......shit. Death....we have seen it up close. Suicide, nature, accidents.....morgues are facinating.....Anatomy and Physiology from 2005. Cadavers, inside, outside......us.....our Mansion of 20 rooms........Erin on Meth, Amber with Vodka......Emily Noelle the oldest child....Melina Alison the youngest child, 2 cousins. Yeah. Tess and Stephen, Emily's parents. Melina, child of Melissa and the body. Hysterectomy in 2008, 4.5 pound tumor removal.....no cancer......no babies, and the oral sex rape......the idiot who got away thanks to the therapist who let him go.......his attack and the 2 year follow ups........
Psychotic, Sociopath, DID, Schizophrenia......shit again. And we are not the body's friends?????
I have been there professional idiots in deep dark denial!!!! The next puff, drink, and little one who gets hurt, the gun going off during target practice in the meadow out back with Brandon at the helm. Erin ODing and shooting herself up, gun too....death for real in 2008....alongside Amber......what can you not deny here?????????
Real? Yes. CP/DID combo.....all of it.....kiss my ass you cunt woman. Time, money, blood, sweat and tears. Gone. Disbelief? Front and Center. This war began in 1979.....and now in 2009.....30 years later.......we are so clusterfucked.
We quit Zyprexia.....went on Abilify......got on Paxil CR, Ambien CR.....in the hospital for 4 days in March 2004.....and the doors closed soon after.....our file inside for good. All that goes down....and then....cunt woman does her dance. 6 years of psychiatry follow....men and women. 20 years total of therapy.....and we are numb.
Numb to the fact that we don't have existence. Yet the suicides and death in general......happened, and we outlived those people.....laws aside.....how the hell did that shit happen???????????????
That's all for now.....I'm going to go find Kerry and find out when the next flight plan will be executed. London, here I come.
--Kel
I am prepping the body for sex so she and her wife can make love again.....anything I can do without surgery, or scripts. Meh.....two things we are glad to see gone. Yeah, gone baby gone....who the hell knew? LOL.....CP/DID combo......2x4 in the head, mind, body......shit. Death....we have seen it up close. Suicide, nature, accidents.....morgues are facinating.....Anatomy and Physiology from 2005. Cadavers, inside, outside......us.....our Mansion of 20 rooms........Erin on Meth, Amber with Vodka......Emily Noelle the oldest child....Melina Alison the youngest child, 2 cousins. Yeah. Tess and Stephen, Emily's parents. Melina, child of Melissa and the body. Hysterectomy in 2008, 4.5 pound tumor removal.....no cancer......no babies, and the oral sex rape......the idiot who got away thanks to the therapist who let him go.......his attack and the 2 year follow ups........
Psychotic, Sociopath, DID, Schizophrenia......shit again. And we are not the body's friends?????
I have been there professional idiots in deep dark denial!!!! The next puff, drink, and little one who gets hurt, the gun going off during target practice in the meadow out back with Brandon at the helm. Erin ODing and shooting herself up, gun too....death for real in 2008....alongside Amber......what can you not deny here?????????
Real? Yes. CP/DID combo.....all of it.....kiss my ass you cunt woman. Time, money, blood, sweat and tears. Gone. Disbelief? Front and Center. This war began in 1979.....and now in 2009.....30 years later.......we are so clusterfucked.
We quit Zyprexia.....went on Abilify......got on Paxil CR, Ambien CR.....in the hospital for 4 days in March 2004.....and the doors closed soon after.....our file inside for good. All that goes down....and then....cunt woman does her dance. 6 years of psychiatry follow....men and women. 20 years total of therapy.....and we are numb.
Numb to the fact that we don't have existence. Yet the suicides and death in general......happened, and we outlived those people.....laws aside.....how the hell did that shit happen???????????????
That's all for now.....I'm going to go find Kerry and find out when the next flight plan will be executed. London, here I come.
--Kel
Friday, January 16, 2009
Life as I know it.....
Circuit City is closing all stores in the US.
United States of Tara is not on a TV cable channel that I have access to.
I Am....Sasha Fierce is my top album of choice.
Music and movies are my keys to life.
Love comes from everything.
Houston and New Orleans are my top cities of choice because the people matter.
Have a good weekend! :}
--Susana
Circuit City is closing all stores in the US.
United States of Tara is not on a TV cable channel that I have access to.
I Am....Sasha Fierce is my top album of choice.
Music and movies are my keys to life.
Love comes from everything.
Houston and New Orleans are my top cities of choice because the people matter.
Have a good weekend! :}
--Susana
Thursday, January 15, 2009
Life is awesome....here are some current favorites in entertainment.......
Foxfire
Girl, Interrupted
Sybil
Stream-Starring Whoopi Goldberg (Caryn Johnson)
A Beautiful Mind
Grey's Anatomy show and music soundtracks
House
CSI NY
Ellen De Generes Show featuring DJ Tony Okungbowa
Oprah
Dana Owens
Anna Mae Bullock
Beyonce Knowles
Dakota Fanning
Paul Mc Cartney
And more!...stay tuned for further updates..... :}
Foxfire
Girl, Interrupted
Sybil
Stream-Starring Whoopi Goldberg (Caryn Johnson)
A Beautiful Mind
Grey's Anatomy show and music soundtracks
House
CSI NY
Ellen De Generes Show featuring DJ Tony Okungbowa
Oprah
Dana Owens
Anna Mae Bullock
Beyonce Knowles
Dakota Fanning
Paul Mc Cartney
And more!...stay tuned for further updates..... :}
Wow....Melissa and I are having fun.....doing what we do best, and what Christina and Meredith (Sandra Oh and Ellen Pompeo) do best on Grey's.....Dance! Cardio, fun, etc. Whee! I have every album now, and I am working on getting the newest batch of tunes too. And yes, the amazing Chandra Wilson, (Dr. Miranda Bailey) was a Houstonian too....HSPVA......Halla!!!!! If only I had been accepted there, and to Bellaire for Foreign Languages....I keep thinking, my wife would be a proud MD and then some!!!
Her ER shifts are starting to calm down a little. She comes home to sleep next to moi now after being in the on call rooms all night.....she's so awesome either way, you know? Lately, The Posse and I have been dreaming a lot in sleep. Dude....like wacky we don't get these dreams......
TV calls...LOVE The View....Whoopi Goldberg (Caryn Johnson) is my heroine of life. Peace out.
--Susana
Her ER shifts are starting to calm down a little. She comes home to sleep next to moi now after being in the on call rooms all night.....she's so awesome either way, you know? Lately, The Posse and I have been dreaming a lot in sleep. Dude....like wacky we don't get these dreams......
TV calls...LOVE The View....Whoopi Goldberg (Caryn Johnson) is my heroine of life. Peace out.
--Susana
Sunday, January 11, 2009
This is Brandon, or B Man....husband of E or Erin. Since we don't liike words much in this mind or body....I thought I'd post a song.....which will become several over the years ahead. Walking In My Shoes speaks for us all here. Listen to the lyrics. The body knows all of this.....too well, as do we members of The Posse who live in her head. Anyone with CP or DID, any disability, disorder, disease, difference at all will relate to her, and to us. Enjoy a life lesson that you may not get the first time around......you might want to put this on a loop or somthing like that to get it stuck in your head.
Peace!
Brandon/B-Man Mahoney
Peace!
Brandon/B-Man Mahoney
We are the Fab 4 men of the crew......
Keith
Vincent
Brandon
Stephen
Wuzaaap! Today we are rockin' out to Mrs. Beyonce Knowles....wife of the fantastic Jay-Z, proud Houston gal, and amazing human. See....we love artists of all kinds, and we address them by their God given names. Dana Owens, Alicia Keys, Jennifer Hudson, Anna Mae Bullock, Oprah Winfrey, Gail King.....the list is endless. And so is art form.....booyah.
ANYWAY.....
We love I Am...Sasha Fierce. Why? Because all of us have at least 2 selves in this human race. For us, as a team of 18 plus our body.....we value humans, in body, mind, and spirit. 12 women and 2 little girls, little ladies. And we are proud as all get out of us. Sin and all the explicits aside.....we LOVE each other, our body, our collective self, and those who support without judgement. The rest of the world has a lot to learn. But, we men take you everywhere you want to go, and push you where you don't, because you are not human unless you can go dark before being exposed to light.
Keith knows all too well the meaning of life, alongside Melissa in the ER. American Idiots have no idea what it takes to master the skills needed here. No on 8....we sure as hell don't descrimintate the way we've been put down.
We enjoy the idiots who love to knock us out, body, mind, and spirit. We love being able to come back, strong, ready to kick ass timelessly. From brainwashing to murder, we know it all. And our ward is packed with idiots who think they are going to be set free from their crimes and lives simply by ignoring the world in which we all live.
Yeah, right......when you set foot in our crib, you can be guaranteed there is no way out unless you face your solo life head on first before attacking anyone who differs from you. What you discover here is this.....you learn that you are the same people as the men, women, and children of this whole Earth.
There ain't no escape from The Posse or The Earth. We will float above the Universe when we die. We will look down, and know where we stood. And we will know our version of the absolute truth.
We are here for us, and our body alone. Anyone who thinks and does things to harm us.....will pay. But it won't be obvious. You have to dig a deep path to find out who we are. Our body-same thing. She divulges nothing but the truth from her stance. Lies are simple. White, fibs, big, and small.
The truth? Bigger than us.
Learn about us, and the life in this world at large, or die American Idiots.
Keith
Vincent
Brandon
Stephen
Wuzaaap! Today we are rockin' out to Mrs. Beyonce Knowles....wife of the fantastic Jay-Z, proud Houston gal, and amazing human. See....we love artists of all kinds, and we address them by their God given names. Dana Owens, Alicia Keys, Jennifer Hudson, Anna Mae Bullock, Oprah Winfrey, Gail King.....the list is endless. And so is art form.....booyah.
ANYWAY.....
We love I Am...Sasha Fierce. Why? Because all of us have at least 2 selves in this human race. For us, as a team of 18 plus our body.....we value humans, in body, mind, and spirit. 12 women and 2 little girls, little ladies. And we are proud as all get out of us. Sin and all the explicits aside.....we LOVE each other, our body, our collective self, and those who support without judgement. The rest of the world has a lot to learn. But, we men take you everywhere you want to go, and push you where you don't, because you are not human unless you can go dark before being exposed to light.
Keith knows all too well the meaning of life, alongside Melissa in the ER. American Idiots have no idea what it takes to master the skills needed here. No on 8....we sure as hell don't descrimintate the way we've been put down.
We enjoy the idiots who love to knock us out, body, mind, and spirit. We love being able to come back, strong, ready to kick ass timelessly. From brainwashing to murder, we know it all. And our ward is packed with idiots who think they are going to be set free from their crimes and lives simply by ignoring the world in which we all live.
Yeah, right......when you set foot in our crib, you can be guaranteed there is no way out unless you face your solo life head on first before attacking anyone who differs from you. What you discover here is this.....you learn that you are the same people as the men, women, and children of this whole Earth.
There ain't no escape from The Posse or The Earth. We will float above the Universe when we die. We will look down, and know where we stood. And we will know our version of the absolute truth.
We are here for us, and our body alone. Anyone who thinks and does things to harm us.....will pay. But it won't be obvious. You have to dig a deep path to find out who we are. Our body-same thing. She divulges nothing but the truth from her stance. Lies are simple. White, fibs, big, and small.
The truth? Bigger than us.
Learn about us, and the life in this world at large, or die American Idiots.
Saturday, January 10, 2009
Hi everyone,
I'm Melissa Renee, married to Susana, the body of The Posse, 1 of 18, she being 19 to total us up. I have red hair, and green eyes. Some call me and Keith, my MD partner, devils. True. We are doctors in the ER here, and we treat anyone that comes in, serial killers, DID patients, elderly, disabled, and more. You can have any condition known to man, we care for all of you, despite what some may think about the effing health care system in America at large. Our partners, Kerry, Kellie, and Amy, do work with us too. Kerry and Kellie are personal trainers, and Amy is a DID specialist. We are all one big happy family in here. My wife and I have been married since 1993, October 10. We have a daughter, Melina Alison Anderson. Lina is 8. Her cousin, Emily Noelle, is 4.
The girls are very fragile. Emily is Deaf. Lina is able bodied, but fluent in multiple languages, since we all speak different ones. You name it, we understand it. European languages, Eastern languages, and more. Drop your labels and shizz at the door. Drop all your shizz, period especially if you have issues you are not willing to face yourself.
Keith and I are sick of hearing about America complaining about what a shitty country this is. We are not going to take that without seeing justice at full force served. If you are in the troops category, we treat you. We love all our patients as PEOPLE. You can kill, maim, torture, rape, molest, we don't care. To us, you are human, and we make you face your shit. If you die, we ask the Holy 6 to carry you on to wherever you'd like to go. There are 3 places, and if those are booked, you can just float in the air. Heaven, Purgatory, and Hell. If those are booked, you float. The 6 gods are pretty standard. Satan, Jesus, Allah, Buddha, and of course, Zeus and Athena.
My lovely wife and I had sex this week....sensual pleasure, and a lot of fourplay that lesbians do when they are making love. My wife has Cerebral Palsy and DID. No joke. But she's awesome, especially when sex is in the picture. She's HUMAN, after all.
As a doctor, I work 20 hours at a time, sleep in the on call room, and come home to a beautiful wife, daughter, and Posse family. We effing rock. Nuf said. Keith is unmarried, but he spends time with the guyz. Vincent, Brandon, and Stephen. Yes, the fab 4. Our 2 little girls love the guyz. And the 12 women that I am a part of, well, more estrogen means we can bitch, be proud, and be US.
Peace, and we hope to see you soon, in the ER, of course.
Melissa Renee
I'm Melissa Renee, married to Susana, the body of The Posse, 1 of 18, she being 19 to total us up. I have red hair, and green eyes. Some call me and Keith, my MD partner, devils. True. We are doctors in the ER here, and we treat anyone that comes in, serial killers, DID patients, elderly, disabled, and more. You can have any condition known to man, we care for all of you, despite what some may think about the effing health care system in America at large. Our partners, Kerry, Kellie, and Amy, do work with us too. Kerry and Kellie are personal trainers, and Amy is a DID specialist. We are all one big happy family in here. My wife and I have been married since 1993, October 10. We have a daughter, Melina Alison Anderson. Lina is 8. Her cousin, Emily Noelle, is 4.
The girls are very fragile. Emily is Deaf. Lina is able bodied, but fluent in multiple languages, since we all speak different ones. You name it, we understand it. European languages, Eastern languages, and more. Drop your labels and shizz at the door. Drop all your shizz, period especially if you have issues you are not willing to face yourself.
Keith and I are sick of hearing about America complaining about what a shitty country this is. We are not going to take that without seeing justice at full force served. If you are in the troops category, we treat you. We love all our patients as PEOPLE. You can kill, maim, torture, rape, molest, we don't care. To us, you are human, and we make you face your shit. If you die, we ask the Holy 6 to carry you on to wherever you'd like to go. There are 3 places, and if those are booked, you can just float in the air. Heaven, Purgatory, and Hell. If those are booked, you float. The 6 gods are pretty standard. Satan, Jesus, Allah, Buddha, and of course, Zeus and Athena.
My lovely wife and I had sex this week....sensual pleasure, and a lot of fourplay that lesbians do when they are making love. My wife has Cerebral Palsy and DID. No joke. But she's awesome, especially when sex is in the picture. She's HUMAN, after all.
As a doctor, I work 20 hours at a time, sleep in the on call room, and come home to a beautiful wife, daughter, and Posse family. We effing rock. Nuf said. Keith is unmarried, but he spends time with the guyz. Vincent, Brandon, and Stephen. Yes, the fab 4. Our 2 little girls love the guyz. And the 12 women that I am a part of, well, more estrogen means we can bitch, be proud, and be US.
Peace, and we hope to see you soon, in the ER, of course.
Melissa Renee
Hi....I'm Erin, or E, as The Posse members call me. I am a druggie, and very proud of the fact that I admit it. Most won't in the world around me, and so......yeah. I love getting high, by nature, and my drugs of choice, Meth, and Ecstasy. Both are awesome. And here, in the Mansion, I can get high legally. Most would just call our dwelling anything ignorant to hide behind worldly excuses....pardon me while I puff on that...
Anyway, getting high is just my way of expressing me......along with movies of the psychological persuasion.......la la la.....c ya.......
Erin Elizabeth Mahoney
Anyway, getting high is just my way of expressing me......along with movies of the psychological persuasion.......la la la.....c ya.......
Erin Elizabeth Mahoney
Friday, January 09, 2009
Life is good here this new year. 2008 ended well, as I looked back on the rest of the year this fall in preparation for January 1, 2009. I turned 33, celebrated a ton with me, close friends from all over the globe, and celebrated my complex puzzle of self. Hard to believe I have had CP for 33 years, and my DID for 30 years as of January 1, 2009. Yes, I celebrate my imperfections, because it's who I am and I keep me in line. Relationships come and go, but I have my DID always. It's like having a family on the inside of me. There are 18 of them, and 1 of me, totaling 19. And we rock. We write plays, we listen to music, view movies, watch TV, and spend time together when the rest of society can't wrap their brains around who we are. It's funny to think that even with resource books and materials, people are just too into themselves to wonder how we live. Reminds me of the book, really. Only as I write, I change the title for them. I'm Just Not That Into You Either! LOL.
Anyway, nuf said about that.....I love being me. There is never a change I can't deal with. I express me in all ways. Body and mind mostly. And people still don't get it. So, I post songs to describe what I am doing in this crazy wackadoo life.
Here's a list of songs that can get you started. There will be more......Bwa ha ha.......
Walking In My Shoes by Depeche Mode
Consume Me by DC Talk
Girl, Interrupted Soundtrack
Foxfire Soundtrack
NCIS Soundtrack
Le Roi Soleil Soundtrack
All The Best by Tina Turner (Anna Mae Bullock)
Travelin' Light by Queen Latifah (Dana Owens)
I Am...Sasha Fierce by Beyonce Knowles
The Live Set by Michael W. Smith
Lead Me On 2008 Edition by Amy Grant
Heart In Motion by Amy Grant
Momma Mia! by ABBA
Boomerang from Children Of A Lesser God Soundtrack
This past year, Amy Grant said something to me I will never forget at her Lead Me On Tour of 20 years. I sing for you.....and only you....people who wear blue jeans with bare feet, people who are addicts, people who are disabled, people who are different from society, and beaten down by the people in society who just don't get it. She also had this to say. Our faith saves us from ourselves. It was quite a concert.
Now, as I let her music Lead Me On......I focus on those who are different too. Those who boldly stand up for who they are, what they believe in, no matter what comes next. This to me is the meaning of life, and how change happens. Yes, We Can, and Change I Can Believe In. May President Elect Obama show the rest of America and the world he is just as imperfect, but yet, may he also try to be the best human being he can be in the four year term of service. I wish him well, and hope everyone can put aside the petty things they have to work hard at rebuilding this world we all inhabit.
He had me at Hello! :)
There is more to come later this weekend. For now, may this be enough, and I thank you for reading it. Life is up and down. You'll get it all here. After all, this is what being a human being is all about. Cheers!
Anyway, nuf said about that.....I love being me. There is never a change I can't deal with. I express me in all ways. Body and mind mostly. And people still don't get it. So, I post songs to describe what I am doing in this crazy wackadoo life.
Here's a list of songs that can get you started. There will be more......Bwa ha ha.......
Walking In My Shoes by Depeche Mode
Consume Me by DC Talk
Girl, Interrupted Soundtrack
Foxfire Soundtrack
NCIS Soundtrack
Le Roi Soleil Soundtrack
All The Best by Tina Turner (Anna Mae Bullock)
Travelin' Light by Queen Latifah (Dana Owens)
I Am...Sasha Fierce by Beyonce Knowles
The Live Set by Michael W. Smith
Lead Me On 2008 Edition by Amy Grant
Heart In Motion by Amy Grant
Momma Mia! by ABBA
Boomerang from Children Of A Lesser God Soundtrack
This past year, Amy Grant said something to me I will never forget at her Lead Me On Tour of 20 years. I sing for you.....and only you....people who wear blue jeans with bare feet, people who are addicts, people who are disabled, people who are different from society, and beaten down by the people in society who just don't get it. She also had this to say. Our faith saves us from ourselves. It was quite a concert.
Now, as I let her music Lead Me On......I focus on those who are different too. Those who boldly stand up for who they are, what they believe in, no matter what comes next. This to me is the meaning of life, and how change happens. Yes, We Can, and Change I Can Believe In. May President Elect Obama show the rest of America and the world he is just as imperfect, but yet, may he also try to be the best human being he can be in the four year term of service. I wish him well, and hope everyone can put aside the petty things they have to work hard at rebuilding this world we all inhabit.
He had me at Hello! :)
There is more to come later this weekend. For now, may this be enough, and I thank you for reading it. Life is up and down. You'll get it all here. After all, this is what being a human being is all about. Cheers!
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