Ahhh......even tho I despise my American Idiot Dookie.......Hey....If You Like It Then You Shoulda Putta Ring On It! And guess what....I got 99 Problems, but this Diva ain't one! Thank you to Miss Beyonce and husband Jay-Z....I HOPE that YES WE CAN make a REAL difference because baby....H-Town needs to get it on....and realize this white diva who is disabled according to Joyce Carol Oates and Angelina Jolie.....I don't take any Shit. And these Legs....oh yeah baby. I may be scrd sometimes. Shoot. What Diva ain't scrd sometimes if she's a true WOMAN who is HUMAN? Oh and by the way....Grey's staff just called. Seriously Susana. Thanks Dr. Yang! Dr. Bailey....We Don't Do Second Best! HALLA! And let me add....being ORDINARY is OKAY too Meredith! My little hedgehogs, me and Brent the gay dancer who showed me how to move to more hip hop in H-Town...yep....we named them George and Izzy! George and Izzy, Izzy and George to the tune of Max And Ruby. Aww....T.R. I support anything you and your partner do so hey, welcome to GLBT! And Ellen love.....New Orleans has my FULL soul. Momma here is from there. Seriously love. We are IN! And my Coming out day is the day before your momma Betty's Birthday! May 19, 1997! YAY! Hug the family Portia, the animals, all of you and Stop! It's Hammer Time again! Momma looked GOOD in the clothes! Awesome!
Dr. Phil and The Doctors....Drama.....wowie. Oh my goodness. Cerebral Palsy and DID Dissociative Identity Disorder. CP for 33 years since birth. DID first showed in 1977. Sybil came out on DVD! My doctor knows the Director's family! WOW! She's a pain neuro specialist! WOW! And....we lost Elvis. My one True King. Love you even though I never knew you....and the paparazzi is always taking photos of me, a common muggle. Ha ha ha! Funny! No biggie. Mudblood. Thanks ya'll. Love you too. Insults. Ahhh...Fear driven. And they said we wouldn't LIVE to see LIFE and DEATH unfold here in Earth and Time and Space....um...Barbara Striesand, darling....I'm Still Here!
And love, Mom loves your work. All of it. Me too. Me too. Hugs. And the puppy. Awww.....awww....kitty cats are our spin. But, they are good to us. Rough, easy...like my Diva Tina. Ha. Next Hurricanes will be named Susana and Tina. Ahhh.....and we can DANCE and sing because we can't stand the rain against our windows, but hey, if you can't sing in the rain or dance in the storms....then what CAN you do?
Mr. Kelly....I'm still Singin' In The Rain. Hugs. Mr. Albee....Dark is okay. FUN, scary, terrifying and it gets me going like Light can't. But Mr. Dekker and Mr. Peretti...HOUSE does say.....You can't see the Light until you ESCAPE the darkness! Thank you so much!
Woke at 5:30 AM to read again....REVELATION. Large Print King James. Hmmm....who did I see? Jesus. AND Satan too! Indeed. Because you can't possibly have something to FIGHT FOR if you don't have the ENEMY to FIGHT WITH and if I LOVE the ENEMY....well, common sense my gut and soul say....may very well get this Diva KILLED anyway!
House rules:
God came in. I killed him.
I will Kill anyone who comes into my house.
If you can give me a dead body by sunrise, I will let ONE of you live. The rest of you, the 3 of you, will still DIE.
AWESOME! Columbine and Virginia Tech are REAL again to me......Thank goodness! Hilter too! History is being made over and over agaIn! World wide this time! WOW!
Philosophy. French, Theater....there IS a REASON WHY I DID IT! The TRUTH IS HERE! ALL of it! Victory! We were spinning very fast! We spin fast, we spin fast, we spin really really fast! Cher's Dancers! Tour 2003! YES!
Obama family......Cheers to you all including Mr. Bo....awww........woof woof! Puppy love! Awww....and girls, enjoy the desk of Mr. Lincoln! I love him. Love Carver and Tubman, love King....Free at last....Indeed. 40 years later! Obama is in the White House! Amazing you all. Truly. And my encyclopedas are HARD BACKS. My stuff is OLD. But CLASSIC.
And Marlee Matlin, Chris Reeve and those here with me and up there...whereever.....we will be Gorgeous! Idina love......RENT me for awhile. You don't have to take me leave me, hold baggage....but will you, Taye, and the Broadway commit to me???????
Audra, Amy, Tyne, Tim.....you all are soooo amazing too! Judging Amy. Judging Susana has gotten soooo out of hand. Maxine darling...HELP! Wow....who knew! I'm gonna follow Lauren. And BOUNCE! Mommy daughter BOUNCE. YOU BET!
Oh and tell Kathy Bates I am ready to show the world MISERY if they EVER word me, brand me or TOUCH me again! We fight! YEAH! Excuse me I'm looking for Robert Englund. Used to be Freddy....but now I think he's gone Zombie! COOL! Me TOO!
France! Burned Joan of Arc at Stake. Guillotine! Damn! And they think I'm nuts. Oh hell yeah......Remake all the stuff you want folks. Without pissing me off....oops. Newbie Jason dude....uh...can't take TX heat and latex? Awwww....is Camp Crystal Lake gonna have to MOVE again??????? I am a Houston Native. The whole state is RED. Republican. MURDER. Oh and Jack my man. Lakers. Lakes. Shit yeah. REDRUM. Movis is HOT still. And you...Flew Over the Kukoo's Nest. WOW! Joker too! And when you did Mr. Udall, I was very IMPRESSED. You are amazing. Devil too. Oh my.....Daryl. The Devil. Y'Know....so many love to play him. Advocate for HIM. And mess ME up doing it!
Yo.....Birds and Virtigo hit this yard and my body all the damn time. Hey Alfred buddy...Welcome!
Adolf....I know we are still kicking it........Au Revoir Les Enfants. Wowie. Anything about you is indeed HISTORY.
And.....my senior year of high school. History with Ms. Sloan. Seance. AWESOME. Spirits. Ghost. Patrick, Whoopi.....HUGS. Man, my brother is pleased. He crossed over....and it was amazing. C ya brother of mine. Hurrah. Be the best Marine of NCIS passion you can be. Me? I still don't sleep and I NEVER GIVE UP. Abby! I love you all! All of your clothes are me too! Goth! And...Tomorrow Still Comes! YES indeed, and Hope says....YES I CAN! Cheers! :)
Thursday, July 16, 2009
Health Insurance
I can no longer sit here....waiting on Amerigroup Medicaid and my "family" and "friends" to not give a "crap" about me. This, all according to Dad...so yeah....I think America and the stuff of life will never be good enough. It's been said that I am not good enough all 33 years. And I can't see anything good coming out of the human race where I am concerned on any level. Personally, Professionally. PP relationships have stolen my body and soul. I have NOTHING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
He fought with me again.....and again......and again last night. I CAN'T DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Self medicating. AGAIN. High risk of drug interactions! ER AGAIN! Take me America....And KILL what is left!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I WILL NOT DO IT FOR YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I HATE AMERICA!
DEAL WITH MY CP AND MY STUFF DAMMIT! STAND UP! KILL ME NOW! COWARDS!
He fought with me again.....and again......and again last night. I CAN'T DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Self medicating. AGAIN. High risk of drug interactions! ER AGAIN! Take me America....And KILL what is left!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I WILL NOT DO IT FOR YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I HATE AMERICA!
DEAL WITH MY CP AND MY STUFF DAMMIT! STAND UP! KILL ME NOW! COWARDS!
Wednesday, July 15, 2009
Dr. Phil
Dr. Phil. So far, 7 Seasons. There will be more. And within those seasons, my life, has, and always will have.....
10 Defining Moments
7 Critical Choices
5 Pivotal People
My 5 Pivotal People may be on TV, but to me, these people mean more than anyone I've ever met because together as my team with me, They are...Simply.....The Best.
Dr. Memhet C Oz.
Dr. Travis Stork
Dr. Phillip C. McGraw
Robin McGraw
Oprah Gayle Winfrey
My list of people extends far beyond these people. My birthday, my life, and my death and my life beyond...will have Tina Turner, Anna Mae Bullock, Anna Mae Brown.....deeply embedded in my tiny body and soul with Cerebral Palsy, Dissociative Identity Disorder and my Posse of 20.....14 Women, 4 Men, and 2 Little Girls. We ARE who we ARE just because.....Queen Latifah did a cover of this song. What a WOMAN she is.
Celine Dion. Bette Midler, Cher Sarkisan. Ellen DeGeneres who showed me again and again that New Orleans where my Momma grew up and lived her life was just as amazing then as it is today, Katrina a black name too, as she always will be baby. John Goodman, Brad Pitt And Angelia Jolie and the kiddos. Make It Right....Hey Brad, I already did my part. 5 dollars in 2005 to build a house in Houston by my buddy's own hands. A tiny box of nails made us a house for a family in need next door! Hello Little House. Awww....look at you....good, bad, pretty, worn, wear and tear....look at you. You stand when everyone doesn't think you can, or that you will succeed. Hey, failure is okay little house. Evil and good are one. It's okay House.
Dekker and Peretti...you two have again shown me that Evil is......thank you. I stare and study it. I understand why. Heck....and Hell....I'm living it fellas. Scared, nervous, sure. Human fellas. Woman. Worst ever because according to Jesus the Man I am not number one. He is. Jealous of other Gods. Hates divorce. Bibles everywhere in English and stuff. I mean....Lost In Translation is so darn obvious!
French. Theater, Philosophy. Worlds beyond. Arabic. Top in my University of Houston. Arameic. Gone from my sight. Hebrew. Poof. Gone. All things beyond the Christian world....Gone because the white race knows better than to keep me around in Technicolor because it's too easy to keep Black And White here.......damn. You mean me and Michael Jackson are still here???????????
You mean Angelina and Denzel Washington are still here????????
You mean Dakota Fanning and Denzel Washington are still here??????
After seeing Technicolor.....Thank GODS! All 6!
Jesus
Satan
Allah
Buddah
Zeus
Athena
Catholics....take your walls down. Stop hiding! World at large....wake up! I have! And it's not 33 years old! I KNEW before I was BORN that this was going to be LIFE. Death. Afterlife.....Will Smith's REBIRTH! Damn! Wake up and smell the New Orleans coffee! 99 Problems! YES INDEED! Not leaving the planet, but DESTROYING everything in it!
Get out of DENIAL. We ALL play a role! Ahem...Hello! Me too! Madea honey yeah...Helleluyer! Right and Wrong! BOTH!!!! Light and Dark! Both!!!! Love and Hate! Both! Damn it! Technicolor!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Live....coming to a stage near you with ME on it because All The World's A Stage....MINE!
Hello Thespians! Robin, Ellen, Chris, Tyler, University of Houston Main Campus Cougars! Hello! Edward Albee who knows I have Boom boom POW! Stare him down. Seriously. Because Susana And Grey's Anatomy Do NOT Do SECOND BEST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Dr. Bailey...Chandra Wilson...sweetheart.....You and I are OKAY! It's OKAY to be black and white and be DIFFERENT and see the world go kaboom! Damn!
And by the way....
4 races in one show....WOW! Thank you Shonda Rimes for getting it OUT of the CLOSET!
2 Hedgehogs for me and my pal from 5th Grade 1988 and BEYOND 21 years as 2 gay people who KNOW we can do theater and dance like no one no one no one....because he knows I am a Super Woman......With an S for Susana on my chest yes yes yes! I'm a Super Woman! Hey Alicia! I got you!
So What if I feel this good SOBER??????? My FUNHOUSE is a little different. Evil clowns.....Ahem. My generation. Original people. Freddy Kreuger. Chucky. Jason. Hell YEAH. Remakes? Are you KIDDING ME?????? Do you HAVE to ruin what's been done?????????
Dude....they did Friday The 13th. Guy was all....Too hot and Humid in Austin TX because of my body suit in latex. DUDE. I am ALLERGIC to that stuff and BREAK OUT looking like Satan on Steriods! FUCK YOU! Oh and can't take the HEAT of TX? Fall into the GULF!
RED STATE republicans. RED STATE REDRUM chainsaw Massacre. Best Little Whorehouse. Gun Laws PASSED in 2009......What more do you WANT and NEED to see this is the BIGGEST STATE in the US and YOU can't stand summer HEAT????????
Yo B I think this guy needs a WAKE UP CALL!!!!! Video Phone him please Beyonce and make sure Jay-Z is there ready to fight! WOW!
Ignorance. Idiot. Elvis died at 2.....1977. Sybil came out. 2. 1977. 1979...I had DID! Hello! Welcome to the REAL WORLD America! This is WHO I am! Welcome to the real world....Kyrie Eleison! I take.....these broken wings....and i learn to FLY again....I learn to live so free.....Daily! I take....these broken wings, and I try to show you evil and good things.....Somewhere....I'll find a new way of living. I don't have to keep on FORGIVING.....Somewhere.....There's a PLACE for ME. A time and a PLACE for me. Peace and quiet and FREEDOMS there....wait for me somewhere........
I know that I screw up
I fall and I then STAND up
For the people who have no way
No cure no cause no days
Death is all around
Life and Death they don't touch the ground
Life and Death Tears and Laughter too
Take them dear their YOU
Mother Earth I thank you love
For Showing me it's okay to LOVE
Okay to live and okay to die
Because you sustained my LIFE
Father time...STOP! Hammer Time! Ring The Bell School's in SUCKER! Break it down!
Let me give you an education Southern People! It's TIME! Break it down! Oh and I won't defend rap...I LOVE it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Usher, Biggie, 2 Pac, Jam Master Jay, and yeah, Li'l Jon.....
To The Window
To The Wall
Till the sweat drips from the world's ignorant idiotic souls!
Till the sweat drips from their souls!
Skeet skeet skeet skeet!
WOW! Education! And I couldn't fathom being any job person because i have CP and no person would hire me for more than a couple of weeks! WOW! No job, no cars, no house, no mortage....no family, no friends who keep on running away because FEAR controls how they compare and contrast me to Chris Reeve because i walk on two legs like a freak of nature!!!!!! WOW! And NO MONEY to boot! WOW!
When did Chris Reeve give me the baton of HATE? They hate me they hate me they hate you RUN! Oh no!
Hey Scott, Jade, Matt and Mark.....SUP! June Sky! Hey! Jonathan Larson! No Day But Today! Halla! RENT is a comin back! Halla! 2009! Drums! Yeah baby! Take me world....Or LEAVE me! Yes I'm leavin for the new apartment and good and bad life to come....I'm GONE. Ba da da da da da....Pffft! :)
And I'm Gonna Get MY Party Started! With Dirty Laundry, Ravens, and MORE. This Fool's Day...She will keep rushing in...cause she knows that, June Sky's in love....with her!
Thank you Elvis......Thank you....Thank you very much! We DID it! Cause we are Simply The Best! Now That The Heartache Is Over! I Won't Ever Be Missing You! Hey! It's only Self Love Baby! Whoo! Tonight.....David Bowie ladies and gentlemen!
Who's Good, Bad, Black, and White and Technicolor......ME! :]
10 Defining Moments
7 Critical Choices
5 Pivotal People
My 5 Pivotal People may be on TV, but to me, these people mean more than anyone I've ever met because together as my team with me, They are...Simply.....The Best.
Dr. Memhet C Oz.
Dr. Travis Stork
Dr. Phillip C. McGraw
Robin McGraw
Oprah Gayle Winfrey
My list of people extends far beyond these people. My birthday, my life, and my death and my life beyond...will have Tina Turner, Anna Mae Bullock, Anna Mae Brown.....deeply embedded in my tiny body and soul with Cerebral Palsy, Dissociative Identity Disorder and my Posse of 20.....14 Women, 4 Men, and 2 Little Girls. We ARE who we ARE just because.....Queen Latifah did a cover of this song. What a WOMAN she is.
Celine Dion. Bette Midler, Cher Sarkisan. Ellen DeGeneres who showed me again and again that New Orleans where my Momma grew up and lived her life was just as amazing then as it is today, Katrina a black name too, as she always will be baby. John Goodman, Brad Pitt And Angelia Jolie and the kiddos. Make It Right....Hey Brad, I already did my part. 5 dollars in 2005 to build a house in Houston by my buddy's own hands. A tiny box of nails made us a house for a family in need next door! Hello Little House. Awww....look at you....good, bad, pretty, worn, wear and tear....look at you. You stand when everyone doesn't think you can, or that you will succeed. Hey, failure is okay little house. Evil and good are one. It's okay House.
Dekker and Peretti...you two have again shown me that Evil is......thank you. I stare and study it. I understand why. Heck....and Hell....I'm living it fellas. Scared, nervous, sure. Human fellas. Woman. Worst ever because according to Jesus the Man I am not number one. He is. Jealous of other Gods. Hates divorce. Bibles everywhere in English and stuff. I mean....Lost In Translation is so darn obvious!
French. Theater, Philosophy. Worlds beyond. Arabic. Top in my University of Houston. Arameic. Gone from my sight. Hebrew. Poof. Gone. All things beyond the Christian world....Gone because the white race knows better than to keep me around in Technicolor because it's too easy to keep Black And White here.......damn. You mean me and Michael Jackson are still here???????????
You mean Angelina and Denzel Washington are still here????????
You mean Dakota Fanning and Denzel Washington are still here??????
After seeing Technicolor.....Thank GODS! All 6!
Jesus
Satan
Allah
Buddah
Zeus
Athena
Catholics....take your walls down. Stop hiding! World at large....wake up! I have! And it's not 33 years old! I KNEW before I was BORN that this was going to be LIFE. Death. Afterlife.....Will Smith's REBIRTH! Damn! Wake up and smell the New Orleans coffee! 99 Problems! YES INDEED! Not leaving the planet, but DESTROYING everything in it!
Get out of DENIAL. We ALL play a role! Ahem...Hello! Me too! Madea honey yeah...Helleluyer! Right and Wrong! BOTH!!!! Light and Dark! Both!!!! Love and Hate! Both! Damn it! Technicolor!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Live....coming to a stage near you with ME on it because All The World's A Stage....MINE!
Hello Thespians! Robin, Ellen, Chris, Tyler, University of Houston Main Campus Cougars! Hello! Edward Albee who knows I have Boom boom POW! Stare him down. Seriously. Because Susana And Grey's Anatomy Do NOT Do SECOND BEST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Dr. Bailey...Chandra Wilson...sweetheart.....You and I are OKAY! It's OKAY to be black and white and be DIFFERENT and see the world go kaboom! Damn!
And by the way....
4 races in one show....WOW! Thank you Shonda Rimes for getting it OUT of the CLOSET!
2 Hedgehogs for me and my pal from 5th Grade 1988 and BEYOND 21 years as 2 gay people who KNOW we can do theater and dance like no one no one no one....because he knows I am a Super Woman......With an S for Susana on my chest yes yes yes! I'm a Super Woman! Hey Alicia! I got you!
So What if I feel this good SOBER??????? My FUNHOUSE is a little different. Evil clowns.....Ahem. My generation. Original people. Freddy Kreuger. Chucky. Jason. Hell YEAH. Remakes? Are you KIDDING ME?????? Do you HAVE to ruin what's been done?????????
Dude....they did Friday The 13th. Guy was all....Too hot and Humid in Austin TX because of my body suit in latex. DUDE. I am ALLERGIC to that stuff and BREAK OUT looking like Satan on Steriods! FUCK YOU! Oh and can't take the HEAT of TX? Fall into the GULF!
RED STATE republicans. RED STATE REDRUM chainsaw Massacre. Best Little Whorehouse. Gun Laws PASSED in 2009......What more do you WANT and NEED to see this is the BIGGEST STATE in the US and YOU can't stand summer HEAT????????
Yo B I think this guy needs a WAKE UP CALL!!!!! Video Phone him please Beyonce and make sure Jay-Z is there ready to fight! WOW!
Ignorance. Idiot. Elvis died at 2.....1977. Sybil came out. 2. 1977. 1979...I had DID! Hello! Welcome to the REAL WORLD America! This is WHO I am! Welcome to the real world....Kyrie Eleison! I take.....these broken wings....and i learn to FLY again....I learn to live so free.....Daily! I take....these broken wings, and I try to show you evil and good things.....Somewhere....I'll find a new way of living. I don't have to keep on FORGIVING.....Somewhere.....There's a PLACE for ME. A time and a PLACE for me. Peace and quiet and FREEDOMS there....wait for me somewhere........
I know that I screw up
I fall and I then STAND up
For the people who have no way
No cure no cause no days
Death is all around
Life and Death they don't touch the ground
Life and Death Tears and Laughter too
Take them dear their YOU
Mother Earth I thank you love
For Showing me it's okay to LOVE
Okay to live and okay to die
Because you sustained my LIFE
Father time...STOP! Hammer Time! Ring The Bell School's in SUCKER! Break it down!
Let me give you an education Southern People! It's TIME! Break it down! Oh and I won't defend rap...I LOVE it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Usher, Biggie, 2 Pac, Jam Master Jay, and yeah, Li'l Jon.....
To The Window
To The Wall
Till the sweat drips from the world's ignorant idiotic souls!
Till the sweat drips from their souls!
Skeet skeet skeet skeet!
WOW! Education! And I couldn't fathom being any job person because i have CP and no person would hire me for more than a couple of weeks! WOW! No job, no cars, no house, no mortage....no family, no friends who keep on running away because FEAR controls how they compare and contrast me to Chris Reeve because i walk on two legs like a freak of nature!!!!!! WOW! And NO MONEY to boot! WOW!
When did Chris Reeve give me the baton of HATE? They hate me they hate me they hate you RUN! Oh no!
Hey Scott, Jade, Matt and Mark.....SUP! June Sky! Hey! Jonathan Larson! No Day But Today! Halla! RENT is a comin back! Halla! 2009! Drums! Yeah baby! Take me world....Or LEAVE me! Yes I'm leavin for the new apartment and good and bad life to come....I'm GONE. Ba da da da da da....Pffft! :)
And I'm Gonna Get MY Party Started! With Dirty Laundry, Ravens, and MORE. This Fool's Day...She will keep rushing in...cause she knows that, June Sky's in love....with her!
Thank you Elvis......Thank you....Thank you very much! We DID it! Cause we are Simply The Best! Now That The Heartache Is Over! I Won't Ever Be Missing You! Hey! It's only Self Love Baby! Whoo! Tonight.....David Bowie ladies and gentlemen!
Who's Good, Bad, Black, and White and Technicolor......ME! :]
Tuesday, July 14, 2009
Girl Interrupted
Girl, Interrupted.....
Get yourself out Susana. Do not drop anchor here.--Valerie Nurse at Claymoore. Whoopi Goldberg. My first diagnosis in 2002. Borderline Personality Disorder.
Sybil. MPD/DID. My final diagnosis. And no, to me, God is 6 Gods. All equal. All love. Thanx. Thanx, Thanx. Raven gone to tea with Elvis and Lisa Marie. Ciao!
Sex...Gay
Religion.....God, 47 year old black woman. Satan. Buddah. Allah, Zeus and Athena. Hi Melina Kanakaredes and co stars of all your work. Nice to see you! Greek is on baby! Yippee!
Politics....Barack Obama...because he's organized, my calm eye in the chaotic world at large, and he has a great family. Michelle, Sasha, Malia, and Mr. Bo The Portugese Water Dog....Nice! Hi everyone! People's President who handed me a check with no strings for savings. Thank you so much! Much appreciated! I'm different just like you! Welcome to the world of different. Tough, but we can do this! Ha ha...a Dr. Phil thing. He's from Denton, my sister's birthplace, and a UNT Ph.D. Grad to boot! The Doctors with son Jay is cool too. The books, he, Jay, Robin....truly wonderful. Whee! Psychology and Medicine unite here! Whee! Fan for life. Really? Yeah...I am still Getting Real because the journey never ends....and Nadya is a mommy who needs support....so me being a 26 week CP/DID woman now...well, I know I can help in my own ways.....yeah I said it....WAYS. Many ways......hi babies! Hello family! What can I do for you from TX Houston area? HUGS! So sweet. And another reason for me to be here. Thank you Nadya. I mean, yeah, people say we all make mistakes, but we know we aren't the real mistake. And the babies are going to be good....even if they have CP and DID combo one day like I do.....no problem! New challenges to face, new mountains to move...LOVE darling...something I never emotionally had and still don't have, but I am okay! You will be too! Cheers! :)
Get yourself out Susana. Do not drop anchor here.--Valerie Nurse at Claymoore. Whoopi Goldberg. My first diagnosis in 2002. Borderline Personality Disorder.
Sybil. MPD/DID. My final diagnosis. And no, to me, God is 6 Gods. All equal. All love. Thanx. Thanx, Thanx. Raven gone to tea with Elvis and Lisa Marie. Ciao!
Sex...Gay
Religion.....God, 47 year old black woman. Satan. Buddah. Allah, Zeus and Athena. Hi Melina Kanakaredes and co stars of all your work. Nice to see you! Greek is on baby! Yippee!
Politics....Barack Obama...because he's organized, my calm eye in the chaotic world at large, and he has a great family. Michelle, Sasha, Malia, and Mr. Bo The Portugese Water Dog....Nice! Hi everyone! People's President who handed me a check with no strings for savings. Thank you so much! Much appreciated! I'm different just like you! Welcome to the world of different. Tough, but we can do this! Ha ha...a Dr. Phil thing. He's from Denton, my sister's birthplace, and a UNT Ph.D. Grad to boot! The Doctors with son Jay is cool too. The books, he, Jay, Robin....truly wonderful. Whee! Psychology and Medicine unite here! Whee! Fan for life. Really? Yeah...I am still Getting Real because the journey never ends....and Nadya is a mommy who needs support....so me being a 26 week CP/DID woman now...well, I know I can help in my own ways.....yeah I said it....WAYS. Many ways......hi babies! Hello family! What can I do for you from TX Houston area? HUGS! So sweet. And another reason for me to be here. Thank you Nadya. I mean, yeah, people say we all make mistakes, but we know we aren't the real mistake. And the babies are going to be good....even if they have CP and DID combo one day like I do.....no problem! New challenges to face, new mountains to move...LOVE darling...something I never emotionally had and still don't have, but I am okay! You will be too! Cheers! :)
Hollywood Journal
NCIS. CSY NY. Cadaver Labs in Anatomy Class North Harris College 2005. It's not just case solving. Not just life and death. Full scope of it all. The appreciation for the dead who still speak. From June Sky. From afar, but Close Up. To me. To them, I shout the cadence….Marine Scott May…..Hurrah. I love you. The Earth people will never understand what I saw in you….all of you….ADD, crazy shit drugs and beer, Pot, cigs. And me. 2002. Erin toking on Meth and popping Ecstasy. Amber drinking the good stuff. No beer. Just the good al ke hol. LOL! My ladies are still hooked. Safe.
I took a bottle of Alieve to the back of The School of Theater to meet student Peter who told me I could end my pain of CP and an unknown illness that had been here with me since the year Scott Man was born. 1979. 30 years. DID. MPD. Sybil came to life….again. I saw her case in HCC psychology with Dr. Kristen Anderson. Sybil was me…but I had no idea because there was no label. Not for a few years.
Nikki came in….in my sexy sleep. After being nude in PT for weeks. Random. Little one. I am here to help you. Then, as time passed, time got lost, time….fled…..I saw the other DID Posse members come aboard the brain that was me. 20 of them. 14 Women. 4 Men. 2 Little girls. One is deaf, and her momma is deaf too. Cool. More Anne Mallory ASL to bust open. YES! Marlee sweetheart, we don't have to speak up. We don't have to forgive William Hurt or Gil Sefuentes for hurting us. William and you…toxic. He on booze, you on drugs. Gil drunk as he dated for years. Raped me Spring 2005. April 23, 4:15-6:15 PM and left by 6:30. Came and got me the next day. Humilitated me at Starbucks on the Woodlands Waterway. Told me he was Ross, in the salmon sweater. I was his Rachel, and got what I deserved. Therapy from his aid. Therapy with mine. He got away. I took the blame. Since then, all MDs and professionals have taken me to dinner while seeing me in PT, counseling, meds, check check check. Boundaries never here…ever.
Parents blame me. Family. Siblings are scared that I will fail in life. Yelling, physical hitting on my person. Mom. Sister. And it's okay. It's okay. I fight back. I yell back. I don't hit back. Hermonie no! They aren't worth it! Indeed not. Dysfunctional. Mom with dementia. Family in fear. Not me. I stare it down, run, move on. And the new apartment….December 2009. I'm going to move. Move out, move on…..because Susana deserves better than that.
I face Satan. Demons. Angels and Demons. My code will never be solved. Ever. Mystery. Dark brunette bimbo mystery. Dark and mysterious only. Never a dumb blonde.
This Diva can do it. Mistakes, and all else. She will. And she'll do her best. Legs in Foxfire. She has It. The fire. Nourishing and destroying because Satan does both too, and she's not scared to see and face Hell. Excusive stuff, religoions, sex, politics, disability and such comparisons as if we as a Posse have to prove who we are. Nope. So what if I feel this good sober?—P!nk. So? To Whom It May Concern….Now What? I'm going to Shoop and Just Dance because I'm going to be okay…..Lisa Marie and Susana Marie and Lady Gaga…music, movies, TV, Hollywood. Yeah. Theater live. Nuff said. Done. Check! LOL! C ya.
OK
We are okay. Susana is Legs. She's thumbing her ride now. She's getting herself out of the mainstreamed world and being true to who she is. She has it ALL and she also has NOTHING sometimes. Full. Done. Okay. Art. Art. Art.
She is getting out in December 2009.....and she will not drop anchor here. She is not Interrupted anymore....only in some times when things do happen. Stress does. She does, and she's okay. More than survivor okay. She's human woman okay. And to her, she is number one. No more boxes. Just an open world. A world....a Life.....In Technicolor. :]
She is getting out in December 2009.....and she will not drop anchor here. She is not Interrupted anymore....only in some times when things do happen. Stress does. She does, and she's okay. More than survivor okay. She's human woman okay. And to her, she is number one. No more boxes. Just an open world. A world....a Life.....In Technicolor. :]
Saturday, July 11, 2009
Princess Of Bellaire
Princess Of Bellaire
Now this is the story
All about how
My life got turned up inside out
So let me take a second just sit right there
I'm gonna tell ya how I became Princess of Bellaire
Born into a Medical Center with hardly anything to keep my chin up
Hope and faith had slipped away when my parents gave me up that fateful day
Born on a cold dark hardened night
I came into the world tiny and frightened
26 weeks not knowing what to do
Unsure of me and you'd be too
Messing with ORs and docs on staff
Hoping that my brain and body would not last
Didn't think it fair I had to live
While other babies round me died in their cribs
Stayed till April 76
Got sprung home by St. Mark's Stiff's
Adoption was supposed to be the best
But I must tell you it's a big old mess
Lies all over and it's not me
Baby brother dead and the last he sees
Me
Baby bro why did you leave?
He said sis Bigge N Pac they needed me
Records all over the house in 2000
December 17th was gone in hours
Buddy on the bike was a black MAN too
White and Black baby I got you
Voted for Obama almost 9 Year Lata
Bro we did tell King I'll see him up there!
In the house of pearly whites
We got a Black President and I ain't frightened
White men get a grip please please
This Princess ain't playin with races or creeds
She knows her world is bigger than that
Gave to Katrina 5 Bucks from her pack
Built a house in Houston See
For Angel Lane that Oprah made with Nate and team
Brad's great Project yes indeed we got it
Angie and the children I say Halla NOLA!
Harry Connick and the jazz beat too
Never been there but one day I'll see you
Louis man on blog blog way
Wrote a book called Sound Of Building Coffins
Momma born in NOLA see
Grew up in Shreeveport not to far from thee
Drinking coffee the best we know
Community baby now lets have more
Cream and milk ole ole
Baby we got it so please don't play games
Confederacy of Dunces oh yeah that's me
Sound of Building Coffins is best on scene
Jammin' back in H-Town's where I hang my hats
CP/DID/Single Lady that's a Fact
Beyonce and Jay-Z too
I'm a Survivor with 99 Problems boo
But I don't let it get me down
Because this HisStory turns my frown around
Michael Jackson taught me my first dance
At 5 I did ballet and Moonwalked didn't prance
Walking's for those who like to do it
But me I'd rather spin and dance so let's get to it
Jam Jam Baby and stay on scene
Because we know it's okay to SCREAM!
So this is my story I hope you can tell
How my 33 years have been pell mell
But I hold my Diva head up high
Cuz this is it ya'll It's My Life
This is how I live it so sit right there
And please remember to respect me
Princess of Bellaire..... *Will beats me out with Jeff*
Peace ya'll! :]
Now this is the story
All about how
My life got turned up inside out
So let me take a second just sit right there
I'm gonna tell ya how I became Princess of Bellaire
Born into a Medical Center with hardly anything to keep my chin up
Hope and faith had slipped away when my parents gave me up that fateful day
Born on a cold dark hardened night
I came into the world tiny and frightened
26 weeks not knowing what to do
Unsure of me and you'd be too
Messing with ORs and docs on staff
Hoping that my brain and body would not last
Didn't think it fair I had to live
While other babies round me died in their cribs
Stayed till April 76
Got sprung home by St. Mark's Stiff's
Adoption was supposed to be the best
But I must tell you it's a big old mess
Lies all over and it's not me
Baby brother dead and the last he sees
Me
Baby bro why did you leave?
He said sis Bigge N Pac they needed me
Records all over the house in 2000
December 17th was gone in hours
Buddy on the bike was a black MAN too
White and Black baby I got you
Voted for Obama almost 9 Year Lata
Bro we did tell King I'll see him up there!
In the house of pearly whites
We got a Black President and I ain't frightened
White men get a grip please please
This Princess ain't playin with races or creeds
She knows her world is bigger than that
Gave to Katrina 5 Bucks from her pack
Built a house in Houston See
For Angel Lane that Oprah made with Nate and team
Brad's great Project yes indeed we got it
Angie and the children I say Halla NOLA!
Harry Connick and the jazz beat too
Never been there but one day I'll see you
Louis man on blog blog way
Wrote a book called Sound Of Building Coffins
Momma born in NOLA see
Grew up in Shreeveport not to far from thee
Drinking coffee the best we know
Community baby now lets have more
Cream and milk ole ole
Baby we got it so please don't play games
Confederacy of Dunces oh yeah that's me
Sound of Building Coffins is best on scene
Jammin' back in H-Town's where I hang my hats
CP/DID/Single Lady that's a Fact
Beyonce and Jay-Z too
I'm a Survivor with 99 Problems boo
But I don't let it get me down
Because this HisStory turns my frown around
Michael Jackson taught me my first dance
At 5 I did ballet and Moonwalked didn't prance
Walking's for those who like to do it
But me I'd rather spin and dance so let's get to it
Jam Jam Baby and stay on scene
Because we know it's okay to SCREAM!
So this is my story I hope you can tell
How my 33 years have been pell mell
But I hold my Diva head up high
Cuz this is it ya'll It's My Life
This is how I live it so sit right there
And please remember to respect me
Princess of Bellaire..... *Will beats me out with Jeff*
Peace ya'll! :]
Thursday, July 09, 2009
Run
Melissa....take your wife's hands, and RUN......Now.....before the USA and world eat you alive.....before Sarah Palin gets to TX to muck up the govt. with gov. Perry running.....leave now.....now....now......--Keith The Killer, MD.
Suz I think we're alone now......
Doesn't seem to be anyone around
I thnk we're alone now
The beating of your heart is my only sound
I need you to take my hands as we tumble to the grounds of Europe....
We've got to keep running to get away into the NIGHT you were born into....
I think we are RIGHT.....and I think we are alone now....
It's time......time......time.....is on OUR side.....Let's go.......now.......now......now......the sirens are ours. I didn't jump in med school like this for nothing. ER being my LIFE with Killer Keith. We weren't show offs. We know How To Save A Life....YOURS.
Ladies....Go......go......The Posse will send aid when you get to Europe. Go......just....go.....and Do not drop anchor here.....Go......just.....go....on silent wings with love....RENT, Hollywood, music, Broadway....take it and Go......go......go....... we will see you soon....... and we LOVE you.---Killer Keith and The Posse of 20......14 Women, 4 Men, 2 Little Girls. Go......go.....go.......
Suz I think we're alone now......
Doesn't seem to be anyone around
I thnk we're alone now
The beating of your heart is my only sound
I need you to take my hands as we tumble to the grounds of Europe....
We've got to keep running to get away into the NIGHT you were born into....
I think we are RIGHT.....and I think we are alone now....
It's time......time......time.....is on OUR side.....Let's go.......now.......now......now......the sirens are ours. I didn't jump in med school like this for nothing. ER being my LIFE with Killer Keith. We weren't show offs. We know How To Save A Life....YOURS.
Ladies....Go......go......The Posse will send aid when you get to Europe. Go......just....go.....and Do not drop anchor here.....Go......just.....go....on silent wings with love....RENT, Hollywood, music, Broadway....take it and Go......go......go....... we will see you soon....... and we LOVE you.---Killer Keith and The Posse of 20......14 Women, 4 Men, 2 Little Girls. Go......go.....go.......
Wednesday, July 08, 2009
Dear World
Dear World full of anger.....sorrow, and money BS......
Today I fought with family. My best friend from Oregon was on the phone all day making sure I was fine. Locked me and him in the bathroom...while family beat on the door. Ran for cover later. Hid. Escaped. Fought back. WON. Devils handed me $40 in cash to pay rent and I haven't moved out yet, so I took the cash and used it to pay the cell bill this month. Hahaha.....$40 and the bill is only $27. Who cares? The Devils can keep that stuff. This Demon Spawn 4 is going to move out, move on, and they can keep their fears. Grow up! Be mature! Calm down. Shut Up! Tounge wagging. Stop smacking! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it!
I have Type 1 Herpes you idiots! And NO I won't take Valtrex cuz it'll KILL me!
Oh....Shut up, and leave now.
Your meds are free with Medicaid! Shut up!
My Pump was RAISED idiots! I can't go any higher! Talk to the doctors! Or not!
Shut up Susana! Shut UP NOW!
Charlie Brown teachers voice in my ears....wah wah wah wah wah..........
Dinner and more of the same.....wah wah wah wah wah......
Shower. The Posse and I plan the next day. Pump gets filled July 9, 2009 at 1 PM in Houston. 500 Milligrams. 79.35 Mcgs a day. BITE ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
And....since any drug with the ingredient Acetomenaphen is gonna tank....Oxycontin is gonna KILL my body with the Baclofen Pump! Don't bother holding a damn funeral memorial for Susana Marie May. Don't do it. Theater, French, Philosophy will see my checks run dry and I'll send my body to the Houston and Pasadena morgues for transfer to the Cadaver lab school where I took A&P. Texas School of Medicine in Pasadena. I never passed out or got the sickies the whole damn course. Stayed till the end. Dropped. Left. Science. Life. CP, hospitals, ERs. ORs, Mental Ward for 4 days in 2004. Now? Medicaid BS because Amerigroup LIED again about who my providers are.....the night before the damn appointment. Oh the girl who booked you didn't know we don't take your plan. Sorry. We have to cancel. But first, I'd like your history.
Rolls eyes. Seriously. Stuff won't ever change. History. America, the world with me in it. It won't change. I do. Daily. And yes, World, You're Not Sorry. Anymore. I won't pick up the phone. This is the last straw. There's nothing left to beg for and live for. Nothing. I'm leaving. I am Fearless. Bye. I am going to LIVE my own Love Story now. Single Lady putting her own ring on with Diva heels, the clothes, and all that, turning up the radio, Sweet Dreaming, Video Phoning....Houston and New Orleans. What you said? Susana ain't no diva with her 99 Problems and wars won each day in the 33 years of LIFE and DEATH so far? Whatever. C ya. We outta here....Can't Touch This.
Take care. If you dare, double dare, or even risk your life.....for Death, Heaven, and Hell YOUR way......because I have LIVED it all....and in 33 years, I'll be 66.....elderly. In Satan's camp. All grown up. For YOU. You're not sorry. You're just afraid I won't be what YOU want. Like MJ, Chris Reeve, Scott May, Jade McCrary, Matt Powell, Mark Massaro, and the others on earth. Montel Willams, Michael J Fox, Stevie Wonder, Marlee Matlin......and our dear Angels....Maya Angelou, Toni Morrison, Dana Owens who is Queen LaTifah, Lisa Marie Presley, her family, P!nk, and Taylor Swift, Melissa Etheridge, and Annie Lennox. Sure, Broken Glass and Why? Keep It Simple Sweetheart. Because I AM....Diva Susana.....Lesbian, Rainbow, CP/DID, and Perfectly Imperfect......Wizard Chess Dear Old Shizz? Check MATE! :)
Today I fought with family. My best friend from Oregon was on the phone all day making sure I was fine. Locked me and him in the bathroom...while family beat on the door. Ran for cover later. Hid. Escaped. Fought back. WON. Devils handed me $40 in cash to pay rent and I haven't moved out yet, so I took the cash and used it to pay the cell bill this month. Hahaha.....$40 and the bill is only $27. Who cares? The Devils can keep that stuff. This Demon Spawn 4 is going to move out, move on, and they can keep their fears. Grow up! Be mature! Calm down. Shut Up! Tounge wagging. Stop smacking! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it!
I have Type 1 Herpes you idiots! And NO I won't take Valtrex cuz it'll KILL me!
Oh....Shut up, and leave now.
Your meds are free with Medicaid! Shut up!
My Pump was RAISED idiots! I can't go any higher! Talk to the doctors! Or not!
Shut up Susana! Shut UP NOW!
Charlie Brown teachers voice in my ears....wah wah wah wah wah..........
Dinner and more of the same.....wah wah wah wah wah......
Shower. The Posse and I plan the next day. Pump gets filled July 9, 2009 at 1 PM in Houston. 500 Milligrams. 79.35 Mcgs a day. BITE ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
And....since any drug with the ingredient Acetomenaphen is gonna tank....Oxycontin is gonna KILL my body with the Baclofen Pump! Don't bother holding a damn funeral memorial for Susana Marie May. Don't do it. Theater, French, Philosophy will see my checks run dry and I'll send my body to the Houston and Pasadena morgues for transfer to the Cadaver lab school where I took A&P. Texas School of Medicine in Pasadena. I never passed out or got the sickies the whole damn course. Stayed till the end. Dropped. Left. Science. Life. CP, hospitals, ERs. ORs, Mental Ward for 4 days in 2004. Now? Medicaid BS because Amerigroup LIED again about who my providers are.....the night before the damn appointment. Oh the girl who booked you didn't know we don't take your plan. Sorry. We have to cancel. But first, I'd like your history.
Rolls eyes. Seriously. Stuff won't ever change. History. America, the world with me in it. It won't change. I do. Daily. And yes, World, You're Not Sorry. Anymore. I won't pick up the phone. This is the last straw. There's nothing left to beg for and live for. Nothing. I'm leaving. I am Fearless. Bye. I am going to LIVE my own Love Story now. Single Lady putting her own ring on with Diva heels, the clothes, and all that, turning up the radio, Sweet Dreaming, Video Phoning....Houston and New Orleans. What you said? Susana ain't no diva with her 99 Problems and wars won each day in the 33 years of LIFE and DEATH so far? Whatever. C ya. We outta here....Can't Touch This.
Take care. If you dare, double dare, or even risk your life.....for Death, Heaven, and Hell YOUR way......because I have LIVED it all....and in 33 years, I'll be 66.....elderly. In Satan's camp. All grown up. For YOU. You're not sorry. You're just afraid I won't be what YOU want. Like MJ, Chris Reeve, Scott May, Jade McCrary, Matt Powell, Mark Massaro, and the others on earth. Montel Willams, Michael J Fox, Stevie Wonder, Marlee Matlin......and our dear Angels....Maya Angelou, Toni Morrison, Dana Owens who is Queen LaTifah, Lisa Marie Presley, her family, P!nk, and Taylor Swift, Melissa Etheridge, and Annie Lennox. Sure, Broken Glass and Why? Keep It Simple Sweetheart. Because I AM....Diva Susana.....Lesbian, Rainbow, CP/DID, and Perfectly Imperfect......Wizard Chess Dear Old Shizz? Check MATE! :)
Hollywood
Hollywood et le monde encore.......Celine, Michael Jackson, JJ Goldman, Michael Bolton.....chante....Monde....Avec.....
With your Steel Bars Wrapped All Around Me
I've been your Prioner like Socrates since the day you found me
And now I'm gonna break out, gonna move right along Go Forward
Outside your
Steel Bars!
And with The Hunger.....oh oh oh oh oh....I'll be with Jerome Brent my Patrick Swayze, Jennifer Grey, Dorianna Sanchez, Cher, TIna, Lisa Marie, P!nk, Tina, Beyonce, all the Divas with Queen LaTifiah and Berry Gordy and my Beloved....
Time, Love And Tenderness!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
On ne change pas
Et le monde ne me aimer et c'est d'accord avec moi
Comme Michael et mes freres et mes soeurs dans le ciel
Dans June Sky et les Foxfire dames nous sommes imparfait
Mais, une petite fille
Quand le monde ce moque de moi
Je suis une petite fille
Qui est maintenant une incroable dame!
Merci....Merci Beaucoup! xoxoxoxo--Susana Et Le Posse de 20!
With your Steel Bars Wrapped All Around Me
I've been your Prioner like Socrates since the day you found me
And now I'm gonna break out, gonna move right along Go Forward
Outside your
Steel Bars!
And with The Hunger.....oh oh oh oh oh....I'll be with Jerome Brent my Patrick Swayze, Jennifer Grey, Dorianna Sanchez, Cher, TIna, Lisa Marie, P!nk, Tina, Beyonce, all the Divas with Queen LaTifiah and Berry Gordy and my Beloved....
Time, Love And Tenderness!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
On ne change pas
Et le monde ne me aimer et c'est d'accord avec moi
Comme Michael et mes freres et mes soeurs dans le ciel
Dans June Sky et les Foxfire dames nous sommes imparfait
Mais, une petite fille
Quand le monde ce moque de moi
Je suis une petite fille
Qui est maintenant une incroable dame!
Merci....Merci Beaucoup! xoxoxoxo--Susana Et Le Posse de 20!
Tuesday, July 07, 2009
Today
Today, and every day.....Michael Jackson sings and dances, and remains human with me....because according to him, my personal spirit in CP/DID land is the true essence of who I am.....Perfectly Imperfect, white, gay, lover of all things living and passed on, in vibrant colors as we Heal The World, and as We Are The World. It's why Chris Rock brilliantly said....no normal, decent, person, is just one thing. Be a PERSON.
And so, it's with my own tribute to the World that hates me the way they hate my brother and Michael too, and don't see us as PEOPLE beyond the labels and masks, and things we can't fix and cure....My HUMAN NATURE is PURE LOVE.
Today, Michael is singing to me, again....Susana girl, I Just Can't Stop, Loving You. Michel my brother, in all colors of the soon to be Healed World That We Are....I Just Can't Stop Loving You Too! Mwah! *Wave in my white glove with silver glitter to represent my silver linings in life, death, and beyond in June Sky*
Peace June Sky and Peeps of Mother Earth. Dangerous CD should arrive soon. Hahaha.....Yep, this Dangerous Diva won't keep her life In The Closet....NEVER EVER EVER!
xxxxxxx--To June Sky and Graceland too......Always.
And so, it's with my own tribute to the World that hates me the way they hate my brother and Michael too, and don't see us as PEOPLE beyond the labels and masks, and things we can't fix and cure....My HUMAN NATURE is PURE LOVE.
Today, Michael is singing to me, again....Susana girl, I Just Can't Stop, Loving You. Michel my brother, in all colors of the soon to be Healed World That We Are....I Just Can't Stop Loving You Too! Mwah! *Wave in my white glove with silver glitter to represent my silver linings in life, death, and beyond in June Sky*
Peace June Sky and Peeps of Mother Earth. Dangerous CD should arrive soon. Hahaha.....Yep, this Dangerous Diva won't keep her life In The Closet....NEVER EVER EVER!
xxxxxxx--To June Sky and Graceland too......Always.
Dear World
Dear World,
Please give me a place to go where I can do more than just be in survival mode. I am American. And I have a lot to deal with, but I am not proud of this nation I have been born into nor am I pleased with the people here that turned me inside out in the first 33 years of my life and call it my fault, justice, and use sick verbal and non verbal BS to prove I am wrong.....Always. World, I am not dead....just floating. Mainstreamed one minute and disabled, white, gay female the next. Double life is HARD as HELL. I want to stop. I know people are dead all around me. I have been there. To too many endings. Too many weddings for straight people. Too many funerals for disabled and gay people. Too many Jesus centered events, boxed in to all the stuff this life brought me. Too much up and down....not enough soft places to fall. And Toxic relationships with parernts, family, and so called friends are killing me from the inside. My 6 Gods are tired of trying to make the mainstreamed Idiots understand me any longer. Oh and just in case you don't get it...I am not a wuss who plans to kill herself like all the classmates that chose to take this low road and send all their notes via the mailbox before the damn Internet even came to pass. 1975-2009....used to be ethical and stuff, used to be safe for some, never for me and brother who died in front of my face with ADD. Stupid people. Call us weak and crazy. He's DEAD. But not dead to me. Living and here as I write.....like The Shining. Only in Albee terms. Live Theater. All me. The Marine will be proud, and we will wear our Halo from Hollywood in June Sky FOREVER and Dance because the world here in human form doesn't care. And they never will as far as we both know. And I'm tired of doing the stuff I am doing thinking these people will change and learn and get it. But dying is not an option. I fail and succeed because HUMAN flesh and bone and souls do this. Screw the humans that murder. Animals and people. Life has BS and good things. Logic and common sense will guide idiots to let them know this if they get out of the bubbles they are in. And let Chris Reeve know this Super Woman is keen on his Super Man. Compare me, contrast me, and I'll show you his way of dealing with people like us. Disabled. Not able to be stupid able bodied idiots, and proud to be different. I love me. Gay, white, disabled, Super Woman. Kill me if you want. Your choices, your consequences. Toxins are in and out. Mob and mafia rub em out. World you are Technicolor, ALL And Nothing. And Michael Jackson is my hero. Just like Hollywood. Real life can't be trusted. I leave because i can. New apartment. New life. No more BS. CSI NY will make sure that never happens again. Verbal, non verbal......whatever they call it in real life BS forms that make psychology and psychiatry as twisted as the day I got to the planet, which was November 26, 1975 at 9:35 PM in Houston TX. When The Heartache Is Over, me and Tina and Angelina are running away....and we are never coming back. Peace world. Peace.
Please give me a place to go where I can do more than just be in survival mode. I am American. And I have a lot to deal with, but I am not proud of this nation I have been born into nor am I pleased with the people here that turned me inside out in the first 33 years of my life and call it my fault, justice, and use sick verbal and non verbal BS to prove I am wrong.....Always. World, I am not dead....just floating. Mainstreamed one minute and disabled, white, gay female the next. Double life is HARD as HELL. I want to stop. I know people are dead all around me. I have been there. To too many endings. Too many weddings for straight people. Too many funerals for disabled and gay people. Too many Jesus centered events, boxed in to all the stuff this life brought me. Too much up and down....not enough soft places to fall. And Toxic relationships with parernts, family, and so called friends are killing me from the inside. My 6 Gods are tired of trying to make the mainstreamed Idiots understand me any longer. Oh and just in case you don't get it...I am not a wuss who plans to kill herself like all the classmates that chose to take this low road and send all their notes via the mailbox before the damn Internet even came to pass. 1975-2009....used to be ethical and stuff, used to be safe for some, never for me and brother who died in front of my face with ADD. Stupid people. Call us weak and crazy. He's DEAD. But not dead to me. Living and here as I write.....like The Shining. Only in Albee terms. Live Theater. All me. The Marine will be proud, and we will wear our Halo from Hollywood in June Sky FOREVER and Dance because the world here in human form doesn't care. And they never will as far as we both know. And I'm tired of doing the stuff I am doing thinking these people will change and learn and get it. But dying is not an option. I fail and succeed because HUMAN flesh and bone and souls do this. Screw the humans that murder. Animals and people. Life has BS and good things. Logic and common sense will guide idiots to let them know this if they get out of the bubbles they are in. And let Chris Reeve know this Super Woman is keen on his Super Man. Compare me, contrast me, and I'll show you his way of dealing with people like us. Disabled. Not able to be stupid able bodied idiots, and proud to be different. I love me. Gay, white, disabled, Super Woman. Kill me if you want. Your choices, your consequences. Toxins are in and out. Mob and mafia rub em out. World you are Technicolor, ALL And Nothing. And Michael Jackson is my hero. Just like Hollywood. Real life can't be trusted. I leave because i can. New apartment. New life. No more BS. CSI NY will make sure that never happens again. Verbal, non verbal......whatever they call it in real life BS forms that make psychology and psychiatry as twisted as the day I got to the planet, which was November 26, 1975 at 9:35 PM in Houston TX. When The Heartache Is Over, me and Tina and Angelina are running away....and we are never coming back. Peace world. Peace.
Sunday, July 05, 2009
If I were a boy
I'd change all the rules
I'd get in her life
And I'd be a real human
I'd listen to her
Cause I care how she hurts
I know I'd lose her
If I kept all the fears
I'd then understand
What it means to lose my woman some day
Cause I have taken her for granted
And everything she was got destroyed
But I'm just a boy
Scott man I love you so
You know it and ever show
I am your woman of love and life
Standing in the light of our halos
We can indeed win this huge fight
This fight against the human race
The one that uses hate hate hate
To keep us down when we try to pray
Pray the troops get what they need
When the VA is backlogged at Walter Reed
When I'm stuck here on Earth with Medicaid
Yelling and Screaming like Hell to be heard
By the same family that did the same to you
The next time they do this to me bro
I promise you
I'll never let go
They can't kill the light of our halos
Because we can live on in pure love
Dance on in June Sky starts for all time
Live the lives we wanted for the rest of our lives
Dance brother of mine
This is our Independence Day
A Day In The Life Of A Good and Evil Playwright Lyricist babe
I can see your Halo....Halo....Halo.....
Halo Halo Halo......
I love you Scott man babe.
Based on Halo by Beyonce Knowles
Written by Susana M. May
Dedicated to the Late and Great Marine of my life---who never sleeps, and NEVER gives UP dancing in June Sky among the Stars.......Scott M. May my greatest joy ever....My Brother for Life.....Always......
I'd change all the rules
I'd get in her life
And I'd be a real human
I'd listen to her
Cause I care how she hurts
I know I'd lose her
If I kept all the fears
I'd then understand
What it means to lose my woman some day
Cause I have taken her for granted
And everything she was got destroyed
But I'm just a boy
Scott man I love you so
You know it and ever show
I am your woman of love and life
Standing in the light of our halos
We can indeed win this huge fight
This fight against the human race
The one that uses hate hate hate
To keep us down when we try to pray
Pray the troops get what they need
When the VA is backlogged at Walter Reed
When I'm stuck here on Earth with Medicaid
Yelling and Screaming like Hell to be heard
By the same family that did the same to you
The next time they do this to me bro
I promise you
I'll never let go
They can't kill the light of our halos
Because we can live on in pure love
Dance on in June Sky starts for all time
Live the lives we wanted for the rest of our lives
Dance brother of mine
This is our Independence Day
A Day In The Life Of A Good and Evil Playwright Lyricist babe
I can see your Halo....Halo....Halo.....
Halo Halo Halo......
I love you Scott man babe.
Based on Halo by Beyonce Knowles
Written by Susana M. May
Dedicated to the Late and Great Marine of my life---who never sleeps, and NEVER gives UP dancing in June Sky among the Stars.......Scott M. May my greatest joy ever....My Brother for Life.....Always......
Saturday, July 04, 2009
I am able to SHINE under the SPOTLIGHTS of LIFE and DEATH......with 6 Gods, Inner SOUL, and more......6 months to go before the Independence move to Fawn Ridge.....with G.E all the way!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Good and Evil UNITE under my FIRE. In Life, and in Death, this is my way.....all the way.....All or Nothing because SELF LOVE is all I need....Believe.....This Gypsy, Tramp, and Thief and Half Breed is on her way to GREAT things....because She's Number One and The Best with Foxfire nourishing her and destroying toxins all over the world in her honor! Jam with this Dangerous Diva because she is here to stay......Who Is It? ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!! The best damn drummer in the whole WORLD who knows her own beat! Halla! Happy 4th everyone! :} Angels and Demons are IN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Friday, July 03, 2009
I am jamming to Michael and his family, and music from all around the world in my home based DJ studio. Diva Craps Rollin' Central! And I am never a loser. Or a quitter. And with NCIS and CSI NY and The Mentalist on my side.....I can rethink techniques, solve crimes, gather evidence, and be the Energizer bunny of my own life and self worth....I sleep when I can, and I NEVER GIVE UP!!!!
Even when I Scream, I Jam...Cause it's just too much but it ain't too a much for me da...oh! And one day....I'll Heal The World, and make it a better place, for me and my June Sky Peeps dancing for our own race....we have people dying and as long as I am still living....I'm gonna make this place good for them and me......
I'll be the Thriller....Thriller nights...when people push me down and tell me to stand up and fight.....I'm gonna get up, get up....oh!
ABC....Easy as 123....simple as do re mi....ABC dancing with CP and DID gal!
I Always Feel Like.....My Peeps Are Watching Me.....And we don't need no privacy! Oh oh oh.........
I'm gonna have Georgia......Georgia....the whole night through.......
Bohemia Bohemia is not a fallacy in my head! This ain't Calcutta.....Calcutta America.....is DEAD!
Get the party started......right now......
What you said? Susana ain't no diva.....?
All the single ladies....now put your hands up! That is ME ya'll in H-Town for Beyonce!!!! Native with no shame.....cuz.....you're gonna love....ME! Thank you B and Jennifer! Standing in The Spotlight is okay now!
Now as the path keeps winding...We are Travelin' Light.....with WOMAN on our chest.,.....Super Woman......oh oh...We're ALIVE! And in closing for now....This Independence Day means I have a few months to go before I reach the one bed apartment.......and.....I'm Simply The Best.....The Best I Can EVER GET. Best I can ever be? Be the only WOMAN in ME! Mwah!
Paradise is HERE! Happy 4th of July everyone! :]
Even when I Scream, I Jam...Cause it's just too much but it ain't too a much for me da...oh! And one day....I'll Heal The World, and make it a better place, for me and my June Sky Peeps dancing for our own race....we have people dying and as long as I am still living....I'm gonna make this place good for them and me......
I'll be the Thriller....Thriller nights...when people push me down and tell me to stand up and fight.....I'm gonna get up, get up....oh!
ABC....Easy as 123....simple as do re mi....ABC dancing with CP and DID gal!
I Always Feel Like.....My Peeps Are Watching Me.....And we don't need no privacy! Oh oh oh.........
I'm gonna have Georgia......Georgia....the whole night through.......
Bohemia Bohemia is not a fallacy in my head! This ain't Calcutta.....Calcutta America.....is DEAD!
Get the party started......right now......
What you said? Susana ain't no diva.....?
All the single ladies....now put your hands up! That is ME ya'll in H-Town for Beyonce!!!! Native with no shame.....cuz.....you're gonna love....ME! Thank you B and Jennifer! Standing in The Spotlight is okay now!
Now as the path keeps winding...We are Travelin' Light.....with WOMAN on our chest.,.....Super Woman......oh oh...We're ALIVE! And in closing for now....This Independence Day means I have a few months to go before I reach the one bed apartment.......and.....I'm Simply The Best.....The Best I Can EVER GET. Best I can ever be? Be the only WOMAN in ME! Mwah!
Paradise is HERE! Happy 4th of July everyone! :]
Thursday, July 02, 2009
Times are hard. Really really hard. Family and friends clearly don't understand disabled anything.....me, living people of all ages, races, creeds, and the dead. I am alone. Completely. Tonight, as I left a eatery, I heard two girls discussing a mom. Her son, Aspergers Syndrome, Autism Spectrum, as if he is trash. Trash. I am not alone. I am not the only trash. We are now worldwide. Trash. It's our fault, born and later in life developing all the things the government swears they won't help fix or cure because of money, etc. etc. etc.
I don't get it. I don't get it at all. I can't do this and I can't fight. My numbers are okay, all below 200, but I am not ever going to be okay.....I'm going to die. One day. One day...Dead. Dead with a pitiful funeral by people who don't know. Care? What? When you don't read books, and you demand I do all the able bodied stuff. Education, jobs, relationships, children, sheltered life....with no hope of ever being ready for true independent living. I have no skills. Never paid rent or bills alone. Never experienced how to deal with medical Medicaid Bills, or anything close. I am not ready.
But I know deep in me, there will be ready.....somewhere. In the hate. In the confusion of those who are not me. Those who Hot and Cold me....because they Love me, and Hate dealing with me, because I am killing them. Family and friends don't care. They....don't care. Is it control? Is it me? Is it my ADD brother and friends who are dead?
Am I crazy? Sick? Unable? Stupid? Dumb? Not good enough to be able bodied and DisAbled at the same time? This Double life......surreal. Public....able bodied. Stupid. Dumb, overdramatic. Mountains out of molehills, Jesus hater. Satan fool. Dumb to love other religions, sexes, political views. WRONG all the time.
I have NEVER heard both sides now. NEVER. Joni Mitchell, you did. You sang and i heard you...I LISTENED....Still do. Both sides. A and B. Can anyone else hear this? Or am I truly off the wall? Human Nature to be gay, white, disabled, woman? YES. It's who I am. And I'm OKAY with ME. Why can't the world be OKAY with me, and with other kids who are like me? We don't ask to be DIS Abled! We want what you have!!! Money, jobs, stuff, people.....and we WANT it all!!!!!!!!!!!!! But, we know we CAN'T have it ALL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And we ACCEPT THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Why can't YOU America!? Black, White, Asian, Hispanic, Gay, Straight, LOVED! Another military man died because he was GAY. Murdered in Afganistan! Don't ask, Don't tell. Don't Speak, See or Hear any of us....Differences don't count......or DO they????????
Do I have to DIE to PROVE anything else??????? NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I DON'T! I WON'T! I'll LIVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Perfectly Imperfect! ME! :) :] :P *] Cyclops is WATCHING ME. Whee!!!!!!!!! :}
I don't get it. I don't get it at all. I can't do this and I can't fight. My numbers are okay, all below 200, but I am not ever going to be okay.....I'm going to die. One day. One day...Dead. Dead with a pitiful funeral by people who don't know. Care? What? When you don't read books, and you demand I do all the able bodied stuff. Education, jobs, relationships, children, sheltered life....with no hope of ever being ready for true independent living. I have no skills. Never paid rent or bills alone. Never experienced how to deal with medical Medicaid Bills, or anything close. I am not ready.
But I know deep in me, there will be ready.....somewhere. In the hate. In the confusion of those who are not me. Those who Hot and Cold me....because they Love me, and Hate dealing with me, because I am killing them. Family and friends don't care. They....don't care. Is it control? Is it me? Is it my ADD brother and friends who are dead?
Am I crazy? Sick? Unable? Stupid? Dumb? Not good enough to be able bodied and DisAbled at the same time? This Double life......surreal. Public....able bodied. Stupid. Dumb, overdramatic. Mountains out of molehills, Jesus hater. Satan fool. Dumb to love other religions, sexes, political views. WRONG all the time.
I have NEVER heard both sides now. NEVER. Joni Mitchell, you did. You sang and i heard you...I LISTENED....Still do. Both sides. A and B. Can anyone else hear this? Or am I truly off the wall? Human Nature to be gay, white, disabled, woman? YES. It's who I am. And I'm OKAY with ME. Why can't the world be OKAY with me, and with other kids who are like me? We don't ask to be DIS Abled! We want what you have!!! Money, jobs, stuff, people.....and we WANT it all!!!!!!!!!!!!! But, we know we CAN'T have it ALL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And we ACCEPT THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Why can't YOU America!? Black, White, Asian, Hispanic, Gay, Straight, LOVED! Another military man died because he was GAY. Murdered in Afganistan! Don't ask, Don't tell. Don't Speak, See or Hear any of us....Differences don't count......or DO they????????
Do I have to DIE to PROVE anything else??????? NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I DON'T! I WON'T! I'll LIVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Perfectly Imperfect! ME! :) :] :P *] Cyclops is WATCHING ME. Whee!!!!!!!!! :}
I know why the world is a sick place....because people like me and all of Hollywood, living and deceased.....are sick according to THEM. Too bad. Really. After living 33 years, I FEAR nothing now. Life, Death, Religion, Sex issues, Politics, Medical issues, broken systems, which include, CPS, APS, 911 when you don't have a land line, Educational systems (Savage Inequalities by Kozol), stupid peer pressures and school and post school bullies and rapists.....stupid things that can change....denial, weight, ignorance, indifference.....and the things you can't....Deaf, Blind, Paralyzed, Cerebral Palsy, ADD, Autism Spectrum Disorders, Dieseaes like AIDS and Herpes Type 1 (mine) and Type 2 (Sexual Herpes), being parents, family and friends.....unless of course you use discrimination and hate to despise me and others like Chris Reeve to compare me to Chris......how can you? Chris and I are Disabled. We have The Diss from a country that hates who we are, born or late developed Disabled people....and Able to do it all.....just not like the Able Bodied creeps who ASS UME......we ARE LIKE THEM. Not.
I am not like Able Bodied ASS umers. I don't NEED money to do Theatre, Dance, be healthy on the Inside......just dollars to eat and live. No big deal to me. Tent Cities, AIDS and death, LIFE LIVING......all of the above. Susana Kaysen....You take with you the stuff that haunts you.....because it's part of who YOU are.
I take my good and take my bad I take my good and with my bad and there I have my WHOLE FACTS of MY LIFE!
For the Idiots who ASS ume I am not good enough, not doing enough for America and The World......sorry. Have a small funeral for me. Do what you need to do to end me, to make my legacy the toxic slimy POSITIVE thing YOU need it to be.
While you wring your hands and MOURN my LOSS.....I will live on. My END is not YOURS. When June Sky, Foxfire, Gia, Girls Interrupted and Lost and Found, And Graceland find me time and time again.....You will LOSE me.
A ton of you say things with words, thoughts, deeds, from your solo God. Not me. I have heard it all. Slut, Liar, Imperfect, not good enough, and you wonder why i focus on NEGATIVE??????? DUH!!!!!!!!!!!! I get it from all of you bullies who say what you say, and have no PROOF that I am worth anything because your issues override who I really am in my SOUL.
The guys of Columbine and Virginia Tech have my utmost respect. I am not sick. I am disabled. Any idiot knows DID and MPD and CP are protective mechanisms to live well in a body that is clearly unable to CURE it's stuff of life and death.
And CURE is more than just my favorite 80s band. It's also the biggest LIE anyone has ever told in this world. Cure? Recovery? Hahaha very funny. Bring all the dead back to life and then cure them first. Show me how you can cure people like Scott May, Ray Charles, Chris Reeve, Dana Reeve, Mattie Stepanek, Jade McCrary, Matthew Powell, Mark Massaro.....and ME!
CURE US......RECOVER US.....and don't stop till you do. Then, you can CURE, and NOT RECOVER, AIDS, CANCER, MS, MD, and all the other diseases and disorders YOU create America and world. You've only got 4 Minutes, to CURE the WORLD. Go....I will time you.
And while I wait....my tiny world, black and white, Technicolor world, world where I can SCREAM, Jam, Be Dangerous, a Thriller, and LIVE my TRUE HUMAN NATURE in HISTORY.....BOOM. Michael Jackson is ALIVE! Kiss my ASS......umers!
Ciao! All your words are nice WORLD but my loves not a three way street, you'll never KNOW REAL LOVE until you LOVE YOURSELF I should know! Roger, Adam Pascal RENT 1996/2005 DVD. Written and created by the beloved Jonathan Larson....whom I Will Cover with 1,000 Kisses and little baggage for MY WHOLE LIFE AND DEATH and AFTERLIFE in Atheist Land! ALL religions and sexes, and politics have room to grow in my world. Do you accept or deny me again??????
C ya.....The choice is yours. :]
I am not like Able Bodied ASS umers. I don't NEED money to do Theatre, Dance, be healthy on the Inside......just dollars to eat and live. No big deal to me. Tent Cities, AIDS and death, LIFE LIVING......all of the above. Susana Kaysen....You take with you the stuff that haunts you.....because it's part of who YOU are.
I take my good and take my bad I take my good and with my bad and there I have my WHOLE FACTS of MY LIFE!
For the Idiots who ASS ume I am not good enough, not doing enough for America and The World......sorry. Have a small funeral for me. Do what you need to do to end me, to make my legacy the toxic slimy POSITIVE thing YOU need it to be.
While you wring your hands and MOURN my LOSS.....I will live on. My END is not YOURS. When June Sky, Foxfire, Gia, Girls Interrupted and Lost and Found, And Graceland find me time and time again.....You will LOSE me.
A ton of you say things with words, thoughts, deeds, from your solo God. Not me. I have heard it all. Slut, Liar, Imperfect, not good enough, and you wonder why i focus on NEGATIVE??????? DUH!!!!!!!!!!!! I get it from all of you bullies who say what you say, and have no PROOF that I am worth anything because your issues override who I really am in my SOUL.
The guys of Columbine and Virginia Tech have my utmost respect. I am not sick. I am disabled. Any idiot knows DID and MPD and CP are protective mechanisms to live well in a body that is clearly unable to CURE it's stuff of life and death.
And CURE is more than just my favorite 80s band. It's also the biggest LIE anyone has ever told in this world. Cure? Recovery? Hahaha very funny. Bring all the dead back to life and then cure them first. Show me how you can cure people like Scott May, Ray Charles, Chris Reeve, Dana Reeve, Mattie Stepanek, Jade McCrary, Matthew Powell, Mark Massaro.....and ME!
CURE US......RECOVER US.....and don't stop till you do. Then, you can CURE, and NOT RECOVER, AIDS, CANCER, MS, MD, and all the other diseases and disorders YOU create America and world. You've only got 4 Minutes, to CURE the WORLD. Go....I will time you.
And while I wait....my tiny world, black and white, Technicolor world, world where I can SCREAM, Jam, Be Dangerous, a Thriller, and LIVE my TRUE HUMAN NATURE in HISTORY.....BOOM. Michael Jackson is ALIVE! Kiss my ASS......umers!
Ciao! All your words are nice WORLD but my loves not a three way street, you'll never KNOW REAL LOVE until you LOVE YOURSELF I should know! Roger, Adam Pascal RENT 1996/2005 DVD. Written and created by the beloved Jonathan Larson....whom I Will Cover with 1,000 Kisses and little baggage for MY WHOLE LIFE AND DEATH and AFTERLIFE in Atheist Land! ALL religions and sexes, and politics have room to grow in my world. Do you accept or deny me again??????
C ya.....The choice is yours. :]
Wednesday, July 01, 2009
LOL.....I am the new CP/DID Terminator....and I'll be back......
Hee hee.....Arnold has a new fan respect now from me. Today was BUSY. And I am settling in for the night....with a cup of yogurt, the Ellen and Tom kind with the fruit on the bottom....about to make my Phone Call to my 6 Gods and tell them Thanx for throwing me the line when I totally lost sight of it today! Good stuff from Lisa Marie, Daddy Elvis, P!nk, Beyonce on July 4, Jay-Z, and my peeps from June Sky, Houston, NOLA, and more around the world! I am a Diva who amazes herself. Dude. Diva She Devil. Halla. And my Prada is Good. No fur. Just the Prada heels....clear, black, and silver for each occasion of stomping out toxic people. Yeah....they don't all go away....so I fight the good fight, fair as hell. Words and such....wheah wheah.....even the no nonsense Dr. Phil would look at me and think....hey, her words tend to fall on deaf ears here....and when that doesn't work for her, relationship rescue may not be possible. So the new step? Ha ha....Step....Dance. Robin love.....cardio has a new meaning for me now. Pole dancing, yoga, modern dance to various CDs....and let me tell you....Acai Berry has allowed me to safely lose some weight, and the other vitamins and supplements when taken carefully have protected me too!
This 26 week Cerebral Palsy Preemie is now a WOMAN in menopause....and she's not insane. She's just....different with Dissociative Identity Disorder....30 years this year on January 1, so hey, my 30 year spin is a little different....BUT.......
Miss Nadya shouldn't worry too much about her wee ones. They should meet me. If I can live through toxic humans, toxic medication mix ups, and the surgery dramas in 2006, 2008 and a planned procedure for my Baclofen Pump in 2012 after the election, hey, Nadya is going to be the face of my fight from here till my feet hit the grave.
Oh and the next time you see Jaime Foxx and Faith Hill....I am adopted too. Halla! CASA and CPS, APS....No help for me or my late brother at all, but he's kicking and screaming for me on high. Chris Reeve is with him along with some other friends who I lost. And that man made me proud. Was due to be a Marine in 2001.....and most likely, first to Iraq....but the Gods had other plans.
Somebody's Watching Me by Rockwell. Our song. He's got me wrapped around his heart. 30 years old on November 15. Me and Tina Turner.....34 and 70 in 2009. I now see more of us in each other, and Angelina Jolie.....is my heroine. June 4, 1975, me November 26, 1975, and a thespian who never gives up her community theater works. It's not about the money. Dr. Phil can quote and blackmail me on that one. Seriously. Any person who can take theater and French, combine them, throw in Philosophy and Ethics, and CP/DID combo, a Hysterectomy, and still not know her Biological Roots.....is pretty darn amazing!
I am not seeing red. Blue and Green thanks to Drs. Stork, Sears, Ordon, and the lovely Lisa.....What would that panel be without her?????? Survey says......a tad LOST! But I will say this too.....Travis and I are SINGLE. Hello. I am NOT a marrying, mommy type (gay since age 4) but hey, guys are not that bad....I just don't lie with them is all. LOL. I came out after Ellen on May 19, 1997. My Fearless Leader is still here. And DJ Tony keeps me dancing, and the Brittish accent is STRONG on stage! Not to mention my Mom and NOLA...birthplace! And my wee donation to Katrina....built a HOUSE in HOUSTON for a family! YAY!
Radio by Beyonce. Nuff said. And her sister Solange did a great cover of Viva La Vida by Coldplay. Impressive! I can't wear heels, but flats and socks work when I move to Single Ladies, especially since I am truly the ONLY single lady in my town right now! All my girls are MARRIED and having little ones! This Diva needs to move. To a town with some Single Ladies and not worry about Putting A Ring on anything except a Promise to take care of herself first and not be If I Were A Boy about anything right now.....or ever....with her 99 Problems but the world ain't one. Jay Z and Jennifer Hudson....I hope the Spotlight can dim a little for me here. Travelin Light with Miss Queen LaTifah is a tad too much with that bright light......but Madea can take care of my Precious self for awhile.
Susana: Light and Dark-The Musical. Stage props and other things by the lovely Nate Berkus. Home at last....and my home is Stage that rises up to meet me, with few clutter bugs from Peter Walsh, awesome Action Plans by Suze Orman, Gayle's food choices, Bob's Health Plan, and the fabulous Oprah leading the way with Rachel Ray's Big Orange Book.....and to top it all off.....the biggest thespians of all.....Whoopi Goldberg and her always lovely colleague...Patrick Swayze. I have Ghost and Dirty Dancing, and Girl Interrupted. And may I say after summer 2009 so Far.....I am NOT going to DROP ANCHOR here! Hugs to Miss Valerie at Claymoore. Susana is getting out to the new solo apartment at the end of 2009 to be on her own for awhile. And Cher may show up.....who knows???????
Peace! :]
Hee hee.....Arnold has a new fan respect now from me. Today was BUSY. And I am settling in for the night....with a cup of yogurt, the Ellen and Tom kind with the fruit on the bottom....about to make my Phone Call to my 6 Gods and tell them Thanx for throwing me the line when I totally lost sight of it today! Good stuff from Lisa Marie, Daddy Elvis, P!nk, Beyonce on July 4, Jay-Z, and my peeps from June Sky, Houston, NOLA, and more around the world! I am a Diva who amazes herself. Dude. Diva She Devil. Halla. And my Prada is Good. No fur. Just the Prada heels....clear, black, and silver for each occasion of stomping out toxic people. Yeah....they don't all go away....so I fight the good fight, fair as hell. Words and such....wheah wheah.....even the no nonsense Dr. Phil would look at me and think....hey, her words tend to fall on deaf ears here....and when that doesn't work for her, relationship rescue may not be possible. So the new step? Ha ha....Step....Dance. Robin love.....cardio has a new meaning for me now. Pole dancing, yoga, modern dance to various CDs....and let me tell you....Acai Berry has allowed me to safely lose some weight, and the other vitamins and supplements when taken carefully have protected me too!
This 26 week Cerebral Palsy Preemie is now a WOMAN in menopause....and she's not insane. She's just....different with Dissociative Identity Disorder....30 years this year on January 1, so hey, my 30 year spin is a little different....BUT.......
Miss Nadya shouldn't worry too much about her wee ones. They should meet me. If I can live through toxic humans, toxic medication mix ups, and the surgery dramas in 2006, 2008 and a planned procedure for my Baclofen Pump in 2012 after the election, hey, Nadya is going to be the face of my fight from here till my feet hit the grave.
Oh and the next time you see Jaime Foxx and Faith Hill....I am adopted too. Halla! CASA and CPS, APS....No help for me or my late brother at all, but he's kicking and screaming for me on high. Chris Reeve is with him along with some other friends who I lost. And that man made me proud. Was due to be a Marine in 2001.....and most likely, first to Iraq....but the Gods had other plans.
Somebody's Watching Me by Rockwell. Our song. He's got me wrapped around his heart. 30 years old on November 15. Me and Tina Turner.....34 and 70 in 2009. I now see more of us in each other, and Angelina Jolie.....is my heroine. June 4, 1975, me November 26, 1975, and a thespian who never gives up her community theater works. It's not about the money. Dr. Phil can quote and blackmail me on that one. Seriously. Any person who can take theater and French, combine them, throw in Philosophy and Ethics, and CP/DID combo, a Hysterectomy, and still not know her Biological Roots.....is pretty darn amazing!
I am not seeing red. Blue and Green thanks to Drs. Stork, Sears, Ordon, and the lovely Lisa.....What would that panel be without her?????? Survey says......a tad LOST! But I will say this too.....Travis and I are SINGLE. Hello. I am NOT a marrying, mommy type (gay since age 4) but hey, guys are not that bad....I just don't lie with them is all. LOL. I came out after Ellen on May 19, 1997. My Fearless Leader is still here. And DJ Tony keeps me dancing, and the Brittish accent is STRONG on stage! Not to mention my Mom and NOLA...birthplace! And my wee donation to Katrina....built a HOUSE in HOUSTON for a family! YAY!
Radio by Beyonce. Nuff said. And her sister Solange did a great cover of Viva La Vida by Coldplay. Impressive! I can't wear heels, but flats and socks work when I move to Single Ladies, especially since I am truly the ONLY single lady in my town right now! All my girls are MARRIED and having little ones! This Diva needs to move. To a town with some Single Ladies and not worry about Putting A Ring on anything except a Promise to take care of herself first and not be If I Were A Boy about anything right now.....or ever....with her 99 Problems but the world ain't one. Jay Z and Jennifer Hudson....I hope the Spotlight can dim a little for me here. Travelin Light with Miss Queen LaTifah is a tad too much with that bright light......but Madea can take care of my Precious self for awhile.
Susana: Light and Dark-The Musical. Stage props and other things by the lovely Nate Berkus. Home at last....and my home is Stage that rises up to meet me, with few clutter bugs from Peter Walsh, awesome Action Plans by Suze Orman, Gayle's food choices, Bob's Health Plan, and the fabulous Oprah leading the way with Rachel Ray's Big Orange Book.....and to top it all off.....the biggest thespians of all.....Whoopi Goldberg and her always lovely colleague...Patrick Swayze. I have Ghost and Dirty Dancing, and Girl Interrupted. And may I say after summer 2009 so Far.....I am NOT going to DROP ANCHOR here! Hugs to Miss Valerie at Claymoore. Susana is getting out to the new solo apartment at the end of 2009 to be on her own for awhile. And Cher may show up.....who knows???????
Peace! :]
Oh no!
Keith and Melissa, to the ER...Stat. Susana's down! Our body is down!
Oh God.....Keith and Mel hit the deck....like lightening......Boom.
What are her symptoms? Keith gets staff on call.
Severe migrane from last night's ordeal. Those meds did a number on her brain and we can't stave off the pain. Shit!
Any bleeding?
No. Stopped fish oil 2 days ago.
Good. What do we have? A ton of pain man. From her brain to her spine. Shit. The Baclofen upgrade from Tuesday must either be doing an overhaul or just simply not getting to her CP self yet. We don't know!
Damn it. Okay, talk me through it. What have you tried?
Hot and Cold freezer and microwave packs, a ton of water, and 2 Exederin Migrane. We ate early and she was fine. Now the pain won't even be referred.
Crap. Okay....try this.....Grey's Anatomy Soundtrack. All 3. Follow that with Harry Potter Sorcer's Stone. Follow that with CSI NY, Providence, and go Hollywood! She responds WELL to this. Too well most days, but this is best. Any distraction to get the brain thinking elsewhere!
Melissa trembling....I have to go Bailey from Houston. I am not going to watch my wife be second best and damn it....we're all scared!
Mel, we are going to save her life....do you hear me? 30 years January 1, 2009! DID CP combo is REAL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Damn the world for putting her in HELL! Real as my name is Killer Keith! Damn it!!!!!!!!!!!!
Guys! She's coming around slowly......really slowly..........don't let the Toxic relationships in! I'll start killing if they touch or talk their way in here.....and I'll play God like they don't know!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!--Vince.
Stephen: Pain is starting to come down....vitals look stable. She's not out of the woods yet. No cures and all that jazz. Jesus!
Brandon: Come on baby! You're one of the best cops we got....don't you dare leave us now.......
Erin: Silver bullet at your service. I got the stash baby girl.....drugs and booze for the after party. I Promise! Rave on......come on........stay with me! Amber's bottle hugging too!
Amber: Burbon anyone? Come on baby.........Gin and vodka too.....nothing but the best for my girl.
Melina Alison and Emilye, 4 &8 year old cousins signing frantically. Mommy! Mommy! Don't leave us! ASL and Marlee love you Mommy!
We have to live well. Incurable Optimists do not let the world drive us down. Go Forward baby girl......and I'll Scream Later!......Lauren Cancer Survivor....Lauren Lolita Burre. Named for Celine's Lolita video.
How is she? Keith looks concerned.
She's stable....for now. Pain is a 3. Keep an eye on her. George and Izzy, Izzy and George to the tune of Max and Ruby bunny video from her nieces. George and Izzy are the 2 hedgehogs for she and Brent. TX and NYC baby! George and Izzy, Izzy and George. Mer and Derek, Derek and Mer. Chief and Bailey, Bailey and Chief, Christina and Mer, Dancers Extrordinaire! Callie and Erica....Erica and Calle.....God that show ROCKS with all 4 races, drama, and comedy. Who knew?????
Keep the soundtrack playing....it's WORKING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
This is indeed a true Changing Day in her life!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Age has NOTHING to do with HER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! We DO! Bullies.....OUT! Self love and care.....IN! Selfish liars? Not HER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
May the entire Hollywood team rally around this beautiful HUMAN BEING at 33 and COUNTING. Travis, Lisa, Jimbo, Drew.....Heck yeah baby! Broadway and Billy Elliott...this gal is DANCING her REAR OFF!
Barack and Michelle held her hands yesterday! It took 2 hours for her to be seen! But it HAPPENED! Reform is HERE! She got her wish! And Dr. Phil was there! In the new doctor! Damn this is no coincidence. Ask, and she GOT IT!
Paparazzi......Lady Gaga! Indeed! Just Dance....We're gonna be okay!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Boom Boom Pow.....Will I Am And Fergie...You ROCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Her energy will NEVER DIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Melissa gathers with her Posse around the bed. Is she okay?
Yes....she's warm, and moist, but she is fighting the Hysterectomy too. Wow. This is crazy....but Good! Keith holds hands of staffers. Mel holds hands of her WIFE.....Susana Marie May. Elvis enters with Lisa Marie. Sistaz for life. Little Raven....Shine. Come on.....come back to Graceland again. We'll have tea, and chat up......
Little Raven blinks.....Lisa? Elvis? Does this mean Nevermore? Can I let go again?
Yes little one. Let it all go.....Wise men say.....only fools rush in.....but we all can't help.....staying in love.....with you......Lisa......
It took you all your life
To finally figure out
That you're not in the mood
To be anything like them
Now you can conduct your choir
And You'll Figure out LIFE!
Shine......They'll be the writing on your wall
But you'll be the line across it
And you'll blow their minds!
Love CAN MOVE MOUNTAINS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! We're ALIVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! We drove all night....to get to you.......Tonight......It's Only Love.....and We Are The Best when Open Arms come around and we know what love is! Because in the END.....This is How We Operate!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! We DID it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *] Cyclops.....Always watching! Somebody's Watching Me and It's Black And It's White! Thriller! Jam because this gal is DANGEROUS! She'll Touch The Sky America! Golddigger.....and Unpredictable. Just To See Her Smile....We'll Do Anything......because we know Love in Faith and Tim! Adoption, life, LOVE and Ji Ho!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! We BELIEVE in LIFE AFTER LOVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! RENT! Sure thing! :) Albee....We are IN!
Keith and Melissa, to the ER...Stat. Susana's down! Our body is down!
Oh God.....Keith and Mel hit the deck....like lightening......Boom.
What are her symptoms? Keith gets staff on call.
Severe migrane from last night's ordeal. Those meds did a number on her brain and we can't stave off the pain. Shit!
Any bleeding?
No. Stopped fish oil 2 days ago.
Good. What do we have? A ton of pain man. From her brain to her spine. Shit. The Baclofen upgrade from Tuesday must either be doing an overhaul or just simply not getting to her CP self yet. We don't know!
Damn it. Okay, talk me through it. What have you tried?
Hot and Cold freezer and microwave packs, a ton of water, and 2 Exederin Migrane. We ate early and she was fine. Now the pain won't even be referred.
Crap. Okay....try this.....Grey's Anatomy Soundtrack. All 3. Follow that with Harry Potter Sorcer's Stone. Follow that with CSI NY, Providence, and go Hollywood! She responds WELL to this. Too well most days, but this is best. Any distraction to get the brain thinking elsewhere!
Melissa trembling....I have to go Bailey from Houston. I am not going to watch my wife be second best and damn it....we're all scared!
Mel, we are going to save her life....do you hear me? 30 years January 1, 2009! DID CP combo is REAL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Damn the world for putting her in HELL! Real as my name is Killer Keith! Damn it!!!!!!!!!!!!
Guys! She's coming around slowly......really slowly..........don't let the Toxic relationships in! I'll start killing if they touch or talk their way in here.....and I'll play God like they don't know!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!--Vince.
Stephen: Pain is starting to come down....vitals look stable. She's not out of the woods yet. No cures and all that jazz. Jesus!
Brandon: Come on baby! You're one of the best cops we got....don't you dare leave us now.......
Erin: Silver bullet at your service. I got the stash baby girl.....drugs and booze for the after party. I Promise! Rave on......come on........stay with me! Amber's bottle hugging too!
Amber: Burbon anyone? Come on baby.........Gin and vodka too.....nothing but the best for my girl.
Melina Alison and Emilye, 4 &8 year old cousins signing frantically. Mommy! Mommy! Don't leave us! ASL and Marlee love you Mommy!
We have to live well. Incurable Optimists do not let the world drive us down. Go Forward baby girl......and I'll Scream Later!......Lauren Cancer Survivor....Lauren Lolita Burre. Named for Celine's Lolita video.
How is she? Keith looks concerned.
She's stable....for now. Pain is a 3. Keep an eye on her. George and Izzy, Izzy and George to the tune of Max and Ruby bunny video from her nieces. George and Izzy are the 2 hedgehogs for she and Brent. TX and NYC baby! George and Izzy, Izzy and George. Mer and Derek, Derek and Mer. Chief and Bailey, Bailey and Chief, Christina and Mer, Dancers Extrordinaire! Callie and Erica....Erica and Calle.....God that show ROCKS with all 4 races, drama, and comedy. Who knew?????
Keep the soundtrack playing....it's WORKING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
This is indeed a true Changing Day in her life!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Age has NOTHING to do with HER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! We DO! Bullies.....OUT! Self love and care.....IN! Selfish liars? Not HER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
May the entire Hollywood team rally around this beautiful HUMAN BEING at 33 and COUNTING. Travis, Lisa, Jimbo, Drew.....Heck yeah baby! Broadway and Billy Elliott...this gal is DANCING her REAR OFF!
Barack and Michelle held her hands yesterday! It took 2 hours for her to be seen! But it HAPPENED! Reform is HERE! She got her wish! And Dr. Phil was there! In the new doctor! Damn this is no coincidence. Ask, and she GOT IT!
Paparazzi......Lady Gaga! Indeed! Just Dance....We're gonna be okay!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Boom Boom Pow.....Will I Am And Fergie...You ROCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Her energy will NEVER DIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Melissa gathers with her Posse around the bed. Is she okay?
Yes....she's warm, and moist, but she is fighting the Hysterectomy too. Wow. This is crazy....but Good! Keith holds hands of staffers. Mel holds hands of her WIFE.....Susana Marie May. Elvis enters with Lisa Marie. Sistaz for life. Little Raven....Shine. Come on.....come back to Graceland again. We'll have tea, and chat up......
Little Raven blinks.....Lisa? Elvis? Does this mean Nevermore? Can I let go again?
Yes little one. Let it all go.....Wise men say.....only fools rush in.....but we all can't help.....staying in love.....with you......Lisa......
It took you all your life
To finally figure out
That you're not in the mood
To be anything like them
Now you can conduct your choir
And You'll Figure out LIFE!
Shine......They'll be the writing on your wall
But you'll be the line across it
And you'll blow their minds!
Love CAN MOVE MOUNTAINS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! We're ALIVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! We drove all night....to get to you.......Tonight......It's Only Love.....and We Are The Best when Open Arms come around and we know what love is! Because in the END.....This is How We Operate!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! We DID it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *] Cyclops.....Always watching! Somebody's Watching Me and It's Black And It's White! Thriller! Jam because this gal is DANGEROUS! She'll Touch The Sky America! Golddigger.....and Unpredictable. Just To See Her Smile....We'll Do Anything......because we know Love in Faith and Tim! Adoption, life, LOVE and Ji Ho!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! We BELIEVE in LIFE AFTER LOVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! RENT! Sure thing! :) Albee....We are IN!
Yo! This shizz is tight with me and the NYPD insiders. Last night was totally unexpected, and not even our ladies in Foxfire origins saw this coming. The MD for the Pump was straight talking yesterday, like Dr. Phil straight talking....and we are truly grateful because summer of Hell is about to really get interesting here. Wow. I'm Brandon, B-Man, one of 5 NYPD insiders here in The DID Posse residing in Susana's brain from birth on and it's now been 30 years. We are currently fighting something other than us. An outsider. Schizophrenic in nature. Wow. Question for any human being in the new group since we kicked all toxic folks to the curb, and tolerate people like family and such who we have to keep and yet they sound like underwater globs. Dude.
Is it posible for medications over the years, anti depressants, anti psychotics, and new drugs....Oral Baclofen, Oral Flexeril, a Loresal Intrathecal Baclofen Pump and newbie drug, Cymbalta to mix and cause Schizophrenic tendencies in a DID MPD patient??????????
Here's what we knew as of October 2008 with Dr. Iyre. He said ALL MEDS are OUT! So we thought we were going to be okay.....and then, this summer came. Clean system with no meds for 7 months. Then, Cymbalta enters for Neuropathic pain due to Cerebral Palsy, destroying body and brain. In addition, ER triage gives her Oral Baclofen and Oral Flexeril to offest Pump activity because we had Spasticiy worsening, muscle tightening, severe pain at a 10 rating, and headaches, nausea, and bleeding externally from the scalp, nose, ears, and nail beds.
Cymbalta was also issued for depression, and Hormone Replacement Therapy issues. HELLO?????????????????????? Excuse me???????????????
We didn't even have Exposure to this drug! Clean and sober, body goes....NO! We go into a life threatening withdrawl and BOOM!!!!!!!!!!!! Stoned look in the mirror for 2 whole weeks! 10 Days! Not to mention the Orals and The Pump, which had suspended medication daily in the catheter! No wonder our gal was having brief blackouts visually, and grabbing the wall to steady her body! Screaming HELP and no one with an ounce of common sense in her parent's house could AT LEAST know what Help means!
Here's what we know based on overall relationship crises NOW. DON't MESS WITH SUSANA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I am PISSED. Current doctor as of yesterday, Tueday June 30th said what we knew....in TRUE Dr. Phil fashion.
Boundaries. This time, I promise you, they will stick so you have no worries when it comes to people screwing with you....PERIOD.
No swearing at the staff.
You need to know your body.
You need to call us whenever you have any issues with any drugs or therapies that we do not authorize.
You need to step away from ALL RELATIONSHIPS. People are NOT to question you, If you need to get to this office or one of our two hospitals, DO NOT PASS GO. Get here. No questions asked. YOU come first!
Okay so again, we thought we were okay.....Until.....we got HOME.
Parents, family, and other professionals had better back off! Clearly we are caught in a crossfire of non professionals who defend the professionals and NOT SUSANA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Damn! What kind of common sense does a human woman need to figure this out? Not much! Um.....folks, this is NOT rocket science!
My wife knows the body. She knows. Legs Sardowsky knows. Susana is Legs. Hell yah! Keep your hands and words off Susana, and keep your stupidity and ignorance out too! And keep it away from whomever the heck else you do this to. How does this feel?
Crazy little punks! That's right....you better move and you'd better....keep moving.
or WHAT? My gals and I stare American Idiots who throw Dookie at us DOWN.
This is outrageous....This is absolutely outrageous! I'm a doctor and a male and female relationship! Lauren, Lauren, you know Susana she's emotionally unstable!
I'm not unstable! I'm not unstable!
Hey! Leave her alone! Take your hands off of her now!
Susana N' Crew slam American Idiots on table in offices and homes, public places across the country!
If you ever.....put your hands on me again, throw your words of ignorance, or your stupid stuff at me again...I'll slice your hands and vocal chords out with my surgical scalpel......All RIGHT????!!!!!!!!!!
Susana.....Sweetheart.....
All right let's go......let's go....get out of here....GO! Erin stands firm with American Idiots. Can you get up? Next time you think about messing with my young woman, you'd better think about this first! Erin Legs Sardowsky leaves America behind.
Susana, sweetheart, did I scare you?
Nope. Get in here.
Spike in Virgo in June Sky.
Here's the deal. We are one in the same now Susana. Talk to me.
I live mostly in my head Erin.
I was thrown out of the mainstream for having Cerebral Palsy, DID, a Hysterectomy, knowing my full self, fictional and authentic, and for THINKING for MYSELF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I look into the world's eyes....and if I don't think they are safe, I don't get in the cars!
It's a question of REALLY LOOKING!!!!!!!!!!!!!
That's right! Toxic relationships OUT. Pets and Martin and Hollywood actors and musicians IN! It's ON babe! Let's go!
Melissa and Keith will meet us at the ER. We need to get down there Stat. Scalpels and guns from me and the guys are ready.
NYPD! Drop your weapons! Put your hands behind your heads and get on the ground, NOW!
4 Black Revolvers and 1 Silver in action. 2 Silver Scalpels as Keith is ER doc by day, NYPD cop by night. Melissa Stands tall, poised, red hair and green eyes blazing. Touch my WIFE and I KILL YOU!
Lauren Lolita Burre and ladies and 2 little girls hide in alcove adjacent to ER. On call room stage left. Is everyone okay? I think so....Nikki? Abbi? Jamie? Emilye, Melina Allison? Oh God.....we're here.....Shhh.....stay calm and quiet.
Outside, crew is trying to figure out Schizophrenic shizz.
I can't see anyhing Vince! Get Steven and Keith up here! Erin baby?????
I got it! I'm drawn! Go in NOW!
If only we had Jodie, Terrance, and some Anthony Hopkins up here! I still don't see it! Damn!
Wait.....Steve.....what the FRAK????????
Relax fellas.....we got the HORROR industry with us now. Jason, Freddy, Satan, block that exit. We have NO IDEA who this Schizo dude is! Got it! The 3 run down....blocking the exit. GRUDGE! Japan surfaces like a ghost......
6 God Council is off in West Wings! Jack and Angie are here too....
What happened gang?
Not sure. CSI NY should come comb for evidence.
Okay.....new plan. It's not radio or TV in this room. And it's not anyone else in the house. So here's the inconclusive conclusion....BRAIN MEDICAION OVERLOAD.
What are we gonna do?
Round up....I've got an idea......Everyone rounds. Take one of the small fast sleep pills....she needs to sleep.....or we are gonna have more CP stuff than ever. Take it slow gang.....she can't go without it. Milk and fruit isn't enough. Go quick!
Damn it....OTCs and nature mixed with FDA.......GAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
The next morning......
Hot, sweaty, face wash cold water. Fans, small light sources with less heat. Humidifier. Blood evidence from nose. Stopped Fish Oil. Other supplements in, one at a time, one per day. Slow. Real slow. Pain, tension, back. Increase in Baclofen Tuesday before refill July 9. Careful watchful eyes. Lisa Marie. Elvis. Graceland.....Peace........ ~_~
Is it posible for medications over the years, anti depressants, anti psychotics, and new drugs....Oral Baclofen, Oral Flexeril, a Loresal Intrathecal Baclofen Pump and newbie drug, Cymbalta to mix and cause Schizophrenic tendencies in a DID MPD patient??????????
Here's what we knew as of October 2008 with Dr. Iyre. He said ALL MEDS are OUT! So we thought we were going to be okay.....and then, this summer came. Clean system with no meds for 7 months. Then, Cymbalta enters for Neuropathic pain due to Cerebral Palsy, destroying body and brain. In addition, ER triage gives her Oral Baclofen and Oral Flexeril to offest Pump activity because we had Spasticiy worsening, muscle tightening, severe pain at a 10 rating, and headaches, nausea, and bleeding externally from the scalp, nose, ears, and nail beds.
Cymbalta was also issued for depression, and Hormone Replacement Therapy issues. HELLO?????????????????????? Excuse me???????????????
We didn't even have Exposure to this drug! Clean and sober, body goes....NO! We go into a life threatening withdrawl and BOOM!!!!!!!!!!!! Stoned look in the mirror for 2 whole weeks! 10 Days! Not to mention the Orals and The Pump, which had suspended medication daily in the catheter! No wonder our gal was having brief blackouts visually, and grabbing the wall to steady her body! Screaming HELP and no one with an ounce of common sense in her parent's house could AT LEAST know what Help means!
Here's what we know based on overall relationship crises NOW. DON't MESS WITH SUSANA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I am PISSED. Current doctor as of yesterday, Tueday June 30th said what we knew....in TRUE Dr. Phil fashion.
Boundaries. This time, I promise you, they will stick so you have no worries when it comes to people screwing with you....PERIOD.
No swearing at the staff.
You need to know your body.
You need to call us whenever you have any issues with any drugs or therapies that we do not authorize.
You need to step away from ALL RELATIONSHIPS. People are NOT to question you, If you need to get to this office or one of our two hospitals, DO NOT PASS GO. Get here. No questions asked. YOU come first!
Okay so again, we thought we were okay.....Until.....we got HOME.
Parents, family, and other professionals had better back off! Clearly we are caught in a crossfire of non professionals who defend the professionals and NOT SUSANA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Damn! What kind of common sense does a human woman need to figure this out? Not much! Um.....folks, this is NOT rocket science!
My wife knows the body. She knows. Legs Sardowsky knows. Susana is Legs. Hell yah! Keep your hands and words off Susana, and keep your stupidity and ignorance out too! And keep it away from whomever the heck else you do this to. How does this feel?
Crazy little punks! That's right....you better move and you'd better....keep moving.
or WHAT? My gals and I stare American Idiots who throw Dookie at us DOWN.
This is outrageous....This is absolutely outrageous! I'm a doctor and a male and female relationship! Lauren, Lauren, you know Susana she's emotionally unstable!
I'm not unstable! I'm not unstable!
Hey! Leave her alone! Take your hands off of her now!
Susana N' Crew slam American Idiots on table in offices and homes, public places across the country!
If you ever.....put your hands on me again, throw your words of ignorance, or your stupid stuff at me again...I'll slice your hands and vocal chords out with my surgical scalpel......All RIGHT????!!!!!!!!!!
Susana.....Sweetheart.....
All right let's go......let's go....get out of here....GO! Erin stands firm with American Idiots. Can you get up? Next time you think about messing with my young woman, you'd better think about this first! Erin Legs Sardowsky leaves America behind.
Susana, sweetheart, did I scare you?
Nope. Get in here.
Spike in Virgo in June Sky.
Here's the deal. We are one in the same now Susana. Talk to me.
I live mostly in my head Erin.
I was thrown out of the mainstream for having Cerebral Palsy, DID, a Hysterectomy, knowing my full self, fictional and authentic, and for THINKING for MYSELF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I look into the world's eyes....and if I don't think they are safe, I don't get in the cars!
It's a question of REALLY LOOKING!!!!!!!!!!!!!
That's right! Toxic relationships OUT. Pets and Martin and Hollywood actors and musicians IN! It's ON babe! Let's go!
Melissa and Keith will meet us at the ER. We need to get down there Stat. Scalpels and guns from me and the guys are ready.
NYPD! Drop your weapons! Put your hands behind your heads and get on the ground, NOW!
4 Black Revolvers and 1 Silver in action. 2 Silver Scalpels as Keith is ER doc by day, NYPD cop by night. Melissa Stands tall, poised, red hair and green eyes blazing. Touch my WIFE and I KILL YOU!
Lauren Lolita Burre and ladies and 2 little girls hide in alcove adjacent to ER. On call room stage left. Is everyone okay? I think so....Nikki? Abbi? Jamie? Emilye, Melina Allison? Oh God.....we're here.....Shhh.....stay calm and quiet.
Outside, crew is trying to figure out Schizophrenic shizz.
I can't see anyhing Vince! Get Steven and Keith up here! Erin baby?????
I got it! I'm drawn! Go in NOW!
If only we had Jodie, Terrance, and some Anthony Hopkins up here! I still don't see it! Damn!
Wait.....Steve.....what the FRAK????????
Relax fellas.....we got the HORROR industry with us now. Jason, Freddy, Satan, block that exit. We have NO IDEA who this Schizo dude is! Got it! The 3 run down....blocking the exit. GRUDGE! Japan surfaces like a ghost......
6 God Council is off in West Wings! Jack and Angie are here too....
What happened gang?
Not sure. CSI NY should come comb for evidence.
Okay.....new plan. It's not radio or TV in this room. And it's not anyone else in the house. So here's the inconclusive conclusion....BRAIN MEDICAION OVERLOAD.
What are we gonna do?
Round up....I've got an idea......Everyone rounds. Take one of the small fast sleep pills....she needs to sleep.....or we are gonna have more CP stuff than ever. Take it slow gang.....she can't go without it. Milk and fruit isn't enough. Go quick!
Damn it....OTCs and nature mixed with FDA.......GAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
The next morning......
Hot, sweaty, face wash cold water. Fans, small light sources with less heat. Humidifier. Blood evidence from nose. Stopped Fish Oil. Other supplements in, one at a time, one per day. Slow. Real slow. Pain, tension, back. Increase in Baclofen Tuesday before refill July 9. Careful watchful eyes. Lisa Marie. Elvis. Graceland.....Peace........ ~_~
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