2013-2014

A  lot has changed in the past year.  I got my new Baclofen Pump implanted, went through 6 months of Physical Therapy, and learned pain management habits, pills, dance, and music.  Music and dance are separate, but when combined for cardio, they make one hell of a difference.  Lately, my pain has resurfaced, but it's not too bad.  From sinus pain to pain in my upper extremities, God never gives me more than I can handle.  I pray, and diligently try to eat well, sleep soundly, and wake refreshed to tackle a new day.

The Posse and Class Act keep me on my toes.  When Melissa fronts, life gets interesting because she just got promoted, again.  She started out the way everyone does, as an intern.  Today, we got word that she is now Chief of Surgery, ER specific.  Our hospital now accommodates both mental health and physical health services.  And today, I surprised her with the theme song from ER.  We also had a chance to sneak to the on call room, and she gave me a long kiss.  I am about to head to the PICU tonight to check on Dominic.  Then, I'll head to the NICU to check on a young mom's twins.

DID is an extension of me.  I get to live out jobs, family life, and love, respect, and honor, all in my head.  And with 42 alters total, I am one busy multi tasker.  I bravely let my dad know that they are all medically trained, since his profession was insurance.  It's funny how that works out.  Now that I see my psychiatrist every 8 weeks, it gives me time to process life.  The others are cops, in honor of my late brother and dear friend's husband.  I am truly blessed.

As the new year rolls on, life gives me all kinds of opportunities to grow.  I work from home, a hobby job.  In addition, I am apartment hunting in Houston with help from Dad and a friend of mine.  I can't stop smiling.  The complexes have now become a reality.  There are two.  One is called Evergreen Village, and the other one is Lighthouse For The Blind.  I have their office information, photos, and I calculated my rent recently.  I am extremely proud of my math abilities now.  I rarely write checks, so my credit cards come in at a close second.  Haha!  The complexes do credit checks, so hey, can't argue with that.

There is more to come, but I think it's time for a movie.  Peace!

Summer Fun

I haven't posted in awhile....I know....I should update more often!  Today was great.  My language skills are coming back.  Mostly French, but Spanish is making a strong comeback too.  This is one of the few places where I can write in anything I want.  LOL!  My ability to spell and translate are still on the low side since my adult siezure, but I managed to get better on my own.  Unbelieveable I know.  Going to the ER so didn't cross my mind and neither did seeking help afterwards.  I was basically at the mercy of self.  Now I'm on anti siezure meds and doing well.  My psychiatrist is also a miracle worker in his own right.  We meet monthly so I can share my arts, feelings, journals and thoughts.  And he's worth every penny.  Medicaid covers little these days so I am responsible for all out of pocket costs, including his.

As for the summer....I'm spending lots of time with family and friends and I'm online a lot since this is the way friends and family communicate mostly.  That and my cell phone...haha!

Fall is just around the corner and I'm ready for cooler weather.  I'm also looking forward to a health update time at the end of August.  It should be good because the Posse has been doing well lately.  So has Class Act.  Dissociative Identity Disorder is my life and all 40 of them please me.  Erin is renewed after committing suicide and we are having a ball now.  Brandon or B Man as he is called loves Depehe Mode still, and with Melina's birthday around the corner, there will be a party in my head.  She's turning 8 September 26th.  Emilye is 12  now.  My littles are growing up!

The adults will age up with me on my birthday.  November will be a blast.  I share my birthday with Tina Turner, so her DVD will be playing again and I'll kick back with family.  This is what happens when one looks ahead and I can feel my brother smiling on me.  It's been a good year so far.

Update

Monday we had my doctor visit and Erin came forward.  We discussed her desire to die, and the desire to live.  The doctor also said we can love family without actually seeing them face to face.  I love my sister, but seeing her would set me off, so I am declining plans with her this weekend and going to Kyle's instead.  We plan to see Prometheus and head to Hobby Lobby.  Fun!  Painting will be great.  And having my laptop means more desk space.  Yay!

I'm looking forward to painting.  What can I say?  My alters have a creative streak.  LOL!

More to come...

Erin And DID

I feel blessed and lucky at the same time.  The bills are getting paid with money to spare.  My DID art is now accessable by way of Nan's Ohio site, and by way of links in my e-mail.  Dropbox is the bomb.  I love transferring files to my phone to share in therapy.  Edication matters to me.  Reaching friends and family matters.  I can't leave them ignorant.

Things are crazy with The Posse at the moment.  Erin is struggling to just stay alive.  Valerian works.  When she's not sedated and not triggered, her art is beautiful.  She'll be in isolation till November.  I can at least get through hurricane season with fewer panic attacks.

Life is good....I just need her to be my strength now, and I know she can't be.  So I'll keep paying the bills until she's released...

Behind But Catching Up :)

March through May brought many celebrations to our lives.  March and April, family and friends' birthdays.  May...another friend's birthday and his trip to Yale to see his nephew graduate.  Now it's June and I am a busy bee.  I am working on mental health art projects and really trying hard to stay grounded in daily life.  Thus can be challenging especially when my mind is everywhere.

DID and CP keep me busy.  About two weeks ago I sustained a hard fall, and had to recover with my cane.  For awhile I wanted my walker and then thought, no, I'll keep the cane around.  My niece named them Stanley The Stick and Wally The Walker.  And should I need a wheelchair one day....I'll just call her Stella The Great.

Today was a cane less day and a day full of art.  Music, art, and meditation.  That's us in a nutshell.  Dominic came out and I think he may be the first student to integrate.  We'll see.  There are twenty of them so my brain is packed with them and the Posse of twenty from 1979.

Tonight Melissa, Emily, and Melina all fronted at once.  Oy what a headache.  They are asleep now.  And I'm awake.  Inspmnia.  Boo hiss.

I'll post again sooner rather than later....

DID And Healing

Oh boy!  We have a new set of healing things in the house now.  Body butter and a fish ring, created by our friend and supporter, Nancy D.  The ring is a relaxation symbol for Melissa and I.  The body butter and coconut scent are so nice.  The dry skin is basically gone.  Good to know.

Tonight the guys are rocking out to Led Zepplin's Stairway To Heaven.  Haha!  The ladies to Into Dust by Mazzy Star.  Our tastes in DID music are a changin.  I think we may light a candle this week and use the body butter.  Fire...the thing that nourishes us.  Even the students.  Melina was active again today.  I have to constantly watch her.  Her violent mood swings have gotten slightly better.  I almost wish Zyprexa could be taken during the day, since she's fronting more than everyone else.

Little Emily Noelle is a soother.  Her autism and deafness are why.  She calms herself by touch.  And this in turn, calms me, the body.  Lately, it's been party time inside.  And the bedtime recordings work well too.  Emily goes by Little One most of the time.  And she'll be 12 this year.  Hard to believe.  Melina will be 10.  This DID mystery gets better with ages.  The adults are 36 with me.  Tonight we are feeling it.  Haha...creaky knees.  The chest pain brings out Melissa, Keith, Kel, and Kerry.  Melissa and Keith are still saving lives in the ER and Kel and Kerry are still personal trainers.  Fun.

Erin throws Meth pipes.  Only this time, they are filled with essential oil gasses.  Her favorites are lavender and orange.  Beats Meth.  She and Brandon are getting along at the cop preceint too.  Melissa's trip to Europe ended on a high note.  She found herself.

Tonight, she found us.  We are lovers and friends.  Funny how this works from the inside out.  Her favorite new song...If You Were Here.

Tomorrow night the Oscars are on.  Haven't seen any of the movies, but I am rooting for George Clooney in The Desendants.  I'll try and post early in the day so you don't think I've fallen off the edge or from grace.  LOL.

DID Update

The Insiders are happy with Pandora Radio.  Yes, the students have a group name now.  Crazy, but good.  The Posse is doing well too.  Lauren is singing a lot.  Nikki is playing host to her lady friends this Sunday for the Oscars.  And the littles are drawing again.  The pictures are peaceful.  Mainly because I have had chest pains and they want me to feel better.  How sweet.